Help with SCA YouTube Videos

Be an ISO Outreach volunteer and help make SCA YouTube videos for our channel. Our next project is to make short (2-3 minute) videos on your shares about Chapter 2: The Twenty Questions (from our Big Book). I would like your input (either audio or text) on any of the following questions. You can send it to me either on here scannereditor@sca-recovery.org or at outreach@sca-recovery.org. Your voice and personal information will not be used and your content may be edited . Please consider helping us out by sharing your experiences, hopes and program tools that may have helped you with the question: Chapter 2: Twenty Questions
1. Do you frequently experience remorse, depression, or guilt about your sexual activity?
2. Do you feel your sexual drive and activity are getting out of control? Have you repeatedly tried to stop or reduce certain sexual behaviors but inevitably found that you could not?
3. Are you unable to resist sexual advances or turn down sexual propositions when offered?
4. Do you use sex to escape from uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc., which seem to disappear when the sexual obsession starts?
5. Do you spend excessive time obsessing about sex or engaged in sexual activity?
6. Have you neglected your family, friends, spouse, or relationship because of the time you spend on sexual activity?
7. Do your sexual pursuits interfere with your work or professional development?
8. Is your sexual life secretive, a source of shame, and not in keeping with your values? Do you lie to others to cover up your sexual activity?
9. Are you afraid of sex? Do you avoid romantic and sexual relationships with others and restrict your sexual activity to fantasy, masturbation, and solitary or anonymous online activity?
10. Are you increasingly unable to perform sexually without other stimuli such as pornography, videos, “poppers,” drugs/alcohol, “toys,” etc.?
11. Do you have to increasingly resort to abusive, humiliating, or painful sexual fantasies or behaviors to get sexually aroused?
12. Has your sexual activity prevented you from developing a close, loving relationship with a partner? Or have you developed a pattern of intense romantic or sexual relationships that never seem to last once the excitement wears off?
13. Do you only have anonymous sex or one-night stands? Do you usually want to get away from your sex partner after the encounter?
14. Do you have sex with people with whom you normally would not associate?
15. Do you frequent apps, websites, clubs, bars, adult bookstores, restrooms, parks, and other public places searching for sex partners?
16. Have you ever been arrested or placed yourself in legal jeopardy for your sexual activity?
17. Have you ever risked your physical health with exposure to sexually transmitted diseases by engaging in “unsafe” sexual activity?
18. Has the money you spent on pornography, videos, web-camming, apps, phone sex, or hustlers/prostitutes strained your financial resources?
19. Have people you trust expressed concern about your sexual activity?
20. Does life seem meaningless and hopeless without a romantic or sexual relationship?

The Problem of Porn Addiction

To take the test, simply answer yes or no to each of the following questions.

Do you ever feel overly distracted by, preoccupied with, or obsessed with pornography?
When you start to use pornography, do you sometimes have trouble stopping, consistently looking at it for longer periods than intended?
Do you ever use porn as a way to avoid stress, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, or other forms of emotional discomfort?
After you use porn, do you sometimes regret it or feel depressed?
Have you ever promised yourself or another person that you would stop using porn, only to break that promise later?
Do you ever look forward to events with family/friends ending so you can look at porn?
Have you ever kept secrets about or lied about your porn use?
Have you ever experienced negative consequences related to your porn use, such as relationship trouble, social/emotional isolation, issues at work/school, etc.?
Does your porn use potentially offend others, violate community standards, or place you in danger of arrest?
Do you feel restless, irritable, or discontent when you are unable to use porn?

A ‘yes’ response to three or more of the ten questions listed above indicates that porn addiction may be an issue.

For a long time people with porn-related issues were thought to have a history of early-life trauma. Recently, however there is a new and rapidly growing subcategory of people struggling with pornography. These individuals meet the basic criteria used to identify addiction but lack the underlying early-life trauma that typically drives addictive behavior. Rather than qualifying as traditional trauma-driven porn addicts, it appears these non-trauma-driven individuals have developed a “conditioned” addiction to pornography.

Typically, conditioned porn addicts start viewing porn at a young age, often before puberty hits. And then they fail to move beyond this easily accessed sexual outlet. For these individuals, porn serves as both sex education and sexual fulfillment. The unfortunate result of this is that the user’s emotional and psychological development in terms of sexuality and relationships can be stunted – beginning and ending with what they learn from porn. As such, their ability to form and maintain meaningful real-world romantic and sexual attachments may not develop or may not fully develop in the usual ways.

Initial treatment for conditioned porn addicts mirrors treatment for traditional addicts. In other words, early work is focused on stopping addictive behavior, breaking through denial, managing the crisis or crises that precipitated treatment, and developing tactics to combat triggers and relapse. At that point, because conditioned porn addiction is not driven by trauma, the treatment approach diverges. Rather than working to resolve early-life trauma, treatment transitions toward social development – learning how to develop and maintain real-world romantic and sexual connections. Admittedly, not all conditioned porn addicts are entirely bereft when it comes to real-world relationships. In fact, some are quite adept socially. But the majority need to be walked through the adolescent and early adult stages of social development to some degree, and that, rather than trauma resolution, is the second-level treatment focus for this population.

In SCA we not only learn how to stop the addictive behaviors but also how to grow spiritually to live a more fulfilling life.

Recovery Retreats

QUESTIONS & THOUGHTS

I’m wondering what resources exist for those with a loved one struggling with this sort of thing? It’s pervasively negatively impacting every area of my s/o’s life and I don’t know where to even begin. What resources for those coping with a loved one with these compulsions are available? I’d love to be able to help my person recover before it’s too ingrained. D P

12 Step Weekly Workshops

Through a precise personal application of all Twelve Steps in the textbook Alcoholics Anonymous, attendees will experience the process for radical change in the way they think, feel and behave. Participants will identify their sources of serial suffering and chronic unhappiness. These workshops reveal resources and tools for healing and a life that flourishes. Each person has the opportunity to learn and practice skills which establish and foster a sense of well-being and joy. This 12 Step process promises enlightenment for all who embrace and incorporate this Way of Life.

Commitment:
Pray each day: “Setting Aside” prior knowledge and experience.
Complete the reading assignment each week.
Listen each week to the pre-recorded workshop commentary for each Step.
Write each week for personal reflection, knowledge and deeper experience.
Attend each week to ask questions, discuss assignments and share experiences.
Have an unmarked Big Book, a binder for support material, paper and a pen.

Attendance is free, but registration is required. Access will be provided once you register. For more information: https://herbk.com/bigbook/

Questions & Thoughts

QUESTION:

9/23 How do you chose your sponsor? What are your and their’s expectations?

Please submit your Thoughts, Feelings or Experiences about this question to the e-mail address below. You can also submit a SCA related article, poem, post or etc. to be considered for publication to the same address:

scannereditor@sca-recovery.org

THOUGHTS:

8/’23 SCA’s “Statement of Purpose” is to help the addict who still suffers. A lot has changed in the last 50 years since SCA first addressed sexual addiction. SCA’s Outreach team would appreciate hearing from you on what is and isn’t working, not only in your local meetings but in general with how sexual compulsion/addiction is being addressed today?

Anonymous – SCA Los Angeles

SCA originally started in the gay communities of Los Angeles and New York, and is non-discriminating open to anyone suffering from sexual compulsion. I believe that most therapists and treatment centers still think of SCA as the place to recommend only to their LGBTQ clients. I think more people are seeking help from professionals first before attending any 12 Step “S” group and not finding their way to our meetings. Many people are not “acting out” but “acting in”. With the advent of Apps, social media, free porn, it’s easier to isolate into the disease . Even on line meetings are a bit isolating. As the nature of the disease has changed, SCA has kept up and produced some of the best literature available. With more Outreach, we can let the the health professionals become better informed about us and we can again become more available.

Gordon B.- Chair, SCA New York Intergroup

My experience is that SCA meeting attendance waxes and wanes. Currently, we are going through a transition period, in which a number of New York members attend our in-person meetings while avoiding Zoom meetings. Other NY members stick to Zoom but do not attend in-person meetings. We have a growing number of members who do not live in New York. For them, our Zoom meetings are a lifeline to the fellowship. Ideally, it would be great if those members eventually start their own in-person meetings locally. We are not yet at that point. But we should be grateful for what we have.

As a member of NY Outreach, I get a steady stream of inquiries from people looking for help. Some of them attend a few meetings, then drift away. Others stay. Many newcomers struggle with a sense of shame in admitting to be a sex addictive/sexual compulsive, etc. But I believe that more people than ever are asking for help. The pandemic added to the sense of isolation that many of us feel. Porn usage continues to rise. I believe that our fellowship is doing what we can to help the sexual compulsive who still suffers, both inside and outside the rooms. We can let go of the result.