Tag: program

How Sex Addiction Recovery Uses Live Support Groups

The following is adapted from an article from Scott Brassart,  Director of Online Education for both addicts and partners. He is also involved in the creation, production, and dissemination of online information, treatment manuals, books and workbooks, and other written materials. Additionally, he teaches the Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, and Healthy Intimacy workgroups.

What Is a Sex Addiction Treatment Program?

A sex addiction treatment program is a structured approach to help address compulsive sexual behaviors that have created problems in your life. These programs typically include professional evaluation, individual therapy, and some form of group support to build accountability.

Treatment may happen in a residential setting, where you live at a facility for several weeks, or on an outpatient basis, where you continue daily life while attending scheduled sessions. Many programs now incorporate virtual components, making expert care accessible regardless of your location.

The goal is not just to stop problematic behaviors but to understand what drives them. Programs often address underlying issues like trauma, attachment difficulties, and emotional regulation challenges that fuel addictive patterns.

Why Do Treatment Programs Include Live Groups?

Recovery from sex addiction is rarely a solo journey. Live support groups bring together people facing similar challenges, creating a space where you can speak openly without judgment. This peer connection helps break the isolation that often accompanies addiction.

Group settings also allow you to learn from others. Hearing how someone else handled a triggering situation or worked through a difficult week gives you practical strategies you might not discover in one-on-one therapy.

The real-time aspect matters, too. Unlike pre-recorded content or message boards, live groups require you to show up at a scheduled time. This builds structure and accountability into your week, both of which support long-term recovery.

How Do Live Groups Work in Practice?

Live in-person or online groups typically meet on a regular basis at one location or via video conferencing platforms like Zoom. A trained facilitator or written format guides the session, keeping discussions focused and ensuring everyone has space to participate. Sessions typically last anywhere from one to two hours, depending on the program.

Most groups follow a path that aids in identifying addictive patterns, understanding triggers, building healthy coping skills, and developing a relapse prevention plan.

Participants agree to confidentiality guidelines before joining. What gets shared in the group stays in the group. This creates the safety needed for honest conversation about topics that feel difficult to discuss elsewhere.

What Happens When You Combine Individual Therapy with Online Groups?

Individual therapy and group support serve different purposes, and combining them creates a more complete recovery experience. In individual therapy, you work through personal history, trauma, and the specific thought patterns that drive your behavior. Groups give you a place to practice what you’re learning with real people in real time.

Therapists often recommend group participation as an adjunct to individual sessions. The group becomes a testing ground for new skills: setting boundaries, expressing emotions, asking for help. You also receive feedback from peers who notice things you might miss about yourself.

This approach addresses both the clinical and social dimensions of addiction. You get expert guidance for your specific situation while building a network of people committed to the same recovery goals.

What Should You Look for in an Online Group?

When evaluating programs, start with the format of the group. Try several meetings and then decide which one you feel will be most helpful.

Look at the structure and duration of the workgroup. Give yourself enough time to move beyond surface-level discussion into meaningful work. Programs that offer multiple levels or follow-up options can support your growth over months or years.

Consider also whether the program addresses your specific situation. Some groups focus on men dealing with sex or porn addiction, others on relationships, processing trauma, and still others on couples working to rebuild trust together. Finding the right fit increases the likelihood you’ll stay engaged.

What Are the Benefits of Virtual Groups Over In-Person Meetings?

Virtual groups remove geographic barriers. You can participate in a specialized program regardless of whether one exists in your city. For people in rural areas or those with limited local resources, online access can mean the difference between getting help and going without.

Scheduling flexibility is another advantage. Many online groups meet during evening hours or on weekends, making it easier to attend without missing work. You also save travel time, which makes consistent attendance more realistic over the long term.

Some people find virtual settings less intimidating than walking into a physical meeting room. The screen provides a degree of psychological distance that can help you open up, especially in early sessions when trust is still forming.

What Role Does Peer Support Play in Recovery?

Peer support helps normalize your experience. When you hear others describe patterns similar to your own, it reduces the shame that often keeps addiction hidden. You realize you’re not alone, and that recognition itself can be healing.

Groups also build accountability. Knowing you’ll report back to others next week motivates you to follow through on commitments you’ve made. This social structure reinforces the habits and behaviors necessary for lasting change. Over time, peer relationships often deepen. Many people form connections that continue outside the formal group setting. Some stay in touch with their original workgroup members years after completing the program.

Help for the Significant Others

You are not alone in this, and you do not have to figure it out by yourself. Online help for family, friends and spouses of porn addicts  has expanded  significantly in recent years, giving access to support from the privacy of home. Here are the main types of online support available, what to expect from each, and how to take the first confidential step toward healing. Many of those affected experience what clinicians call betrayal trauma. This includes symptoms like hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, emotional numbness, and a deep loss of trust in your own judgment.

Betrayal trauma is not the same as general relationship distress. It is a specific psychological response to the violation of a deep attachment bond. The  nervous system reacts as though it is in danger, because in an emotional sense, they are. That is why generic relationship counseling or general therapy sometimes falls short for those betrayed.

A 2025 meta-analysis published in BMC Psychology found that couples’ therapies significantly reduced PTSD symptoms and depression in both addicts and their partners, reinforcing the clinical value of structured, trauma-focused intervention for relationships affected by post-traumatic stress.

Therapist-facilitated online workgroups are structured, multi-week programs led by betrayal trauma experts. They combine education about betrayal trauma with guided group discussion in a safe, moderated environment. Sessions usually meet weekly via Zoom.

Individual online support pairs you one-on-one with an expert in betrayal trauma or sex addiction recovery. This is often the most personalized option because the expert can tailor every session to what you need most that week.

Peer support groups and forums are led by those betrayed rather than experts in the field. Twelve-step fellowships like S-Anon and COSA hold virtual meetings where members share their experiences in a confidential setting. These groups are free and widely accessible, and many meet multiple times per week across different time zones.

How to Evaluate Whether an Online Program Is Right for You

Not every online program is built with the same level of rigor or sensitivity. Before you sign up, look for a few key markers of quality that distinguish credible support from well-meaning but unqualified offerings. First, check who is facilitating the program. Trained experts with credentials in sex addiction treatment or betrayal trauma, such as Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs), bring a level of expertise that general wellness coaches cannot match.

Second, consider the structure. A well-designed program has a clear curriculum, defined session lengths, and stated goals for each week or module. Open-ended drop-in groups can be helpful for community, but structured workgroups tend to produce more consistent progress because they build knowledge and skills sequentially, with each session layering on the one before it. The most effective online help for those affected puts your healing at the center, addressing your trauma, your boundaries, and your choices about the relationship on your terms.

What to Expect During Your First Weeks of Online Support

Starting any form of support when you’re in emotional crisis can feel daunting. Knowing what typically happens in the first few weeks can ease some of that anxiety and help you walk in prepared.

Early sessions usually focus on psychoeducation. You will learn about what betrayal trauma is, why your body and mind are responding the way they are, and what the typical recovery trajectory looks like. This information alone can be profoundly stabilizing. Understanding that your reactions are normal, and not signs that something is wrong with you, helps you begin to reclaim trust in your own perceptions and instincts.

As the weeks progress, the focus typically shifts to practical tools. You’ll work on setting boundaries that protect your well-being, processing grief and anger in a supported environment, and exploring what you need going forward. Group settings add a dimension that individual work cannot replicate: hearing other voice the exact feelings you’ve been carrying in silence is one of the most healing aspects of this work. Many participants describe the shift from isolation to connection as the single most important change in their early recovery. You realize that the shame you’ve been carrying is not yours to hold, and that other people have walked this same road and found solid ground again.

Help with SCA YouTube Videos

Be an ISO Outreach volunteer and help make SCA YouTube videos for our channel. Our next project is to make short (2-3 minute) videos on your shares about Chapter 2: The Twenty Questions (from our Big Book). I would like your input (either audio or text) on any of the following questions. You can send it to me either on here scannereditor@sca-recovery.org or at outreach@sca-recovery.org. Your voice and personal information will not be used and your content may be edited . Please consider helping us out by sharing your experiences, hopes and program tools that may have helped you with the question: Chapter 2: Twenty Questions
1. Do you frequently experience remorse, depression, or guilt about your sexual activity?
2. Do you feel your sexual drive and activity are getting out of control? Have you repeatedly tried to stop or reduce certain sexual behaviors but inevitably found that you could not?
3. Are you unable to resist sexual advances or turn down sexual propositions when offered?
4. Do you use sex to escape from uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc., which seem to disappear when the sexual obsession starts?
5. Do you spend excessive time obsessing about sex or engaged in sexual activity?
6. Have you neglected your family, friends, spouse, or relationship because of the time you spend on sexual activity?
7. Do your sexual pursuits interfere with your work or professional development?
8. Is your sexual life secretive, a source of shame, and not in keeping with your values? Do you lie to others to cover up your sexual activity?
9. Are you afraid of sex? Do you avoid romantic and sexual relationships with others and restrict your sexual activity to fantasy, masturbation, and solitary or anonymous online activity?
10. Are you increasingly unable to perform sexually without other stimuli such as pornography, videos, “poppers,” drugs/alcohol, “toys,” etc.?
11. Do you have to increasingly resort to abusive, humiliating, or painful sexual fantasies or behaviors to get sexually aroused?
12. Has your sexual activity prevented you from developing a close, loving relationship with a partner? Or have you developed a pattern of intense romantic or sexual relationships that never seem to last once the excitement wears off?
13. Do you only have anonymous sex or one-night stands? Do you usually want to get away from your sex partner after the encounter?
14. Do you have sex with people with whom you normally would not associate?
15. Do you frequent apps, websites, clubs, bars, adult bookstores, restrooms, parks, and other public places searching for sex partners?
16. Have you ever been arrested or placed yourself in legal jeopardy for your sexual activity?
17. Have you ever risked your physical health with exposure to sexually transmitted diseases by engaging in “unsafe” sexual activity?
18. Has the money you spent on pornography, videos, web-camming, apps, phone sex, or hustlers/prostitutes strained your financial resources?
19. Have people you trust expressed concern about your sexual activity?
20. Does life seem meaningless and hopeless without a romantic or sexual relationship?

The Problem of Porn Addiction

To take the test, simply answer yes or no to each of the following questions.

  1. Do you ever feel overly distracted by, preoccupied with, or obsessed with pornography?
  2. When you start to use pornography, do you sometimes have trouble stopping, consistently looking at it for longer periods than intended?
  3. Do you ever use porn as a way to avoid stress, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, or other forms of emotional discomfort?
  4. After you use porn, do you sometimes regret it or feel depressed?
  5. Have you ever promised yourself or another person that you would stop using porn, only to break that promise later?
  6. Do you ever look forward to events with family/friends ending so you can look at porn?
  7. Have you ever kept secrets about or lied about your porn use?
  8. Have you ever experienced negative consequences related to your porn use, such as relationship trouble, social/emotional isolation, issues at work/school, etc.?
  9. Does your porn use potentially offend others, violate community standards, or place you in danger of arrest?
  10. Do you feel restless, irritable, or discontent when you are unable to use porn?

A ‘yes’ response to three or more of the ten questions listed above indicates that porn addiction may be an issue.

For a long time people with porn-related issues were thought to have a history of early-life trauma. Recently, however there is a new and rapidly growing subcategory of people struggling with pornography. These individuals meet the basic criteria used to identify addiction but lack the underlying early-life trauma that typically drives addictive behavior. Rather than qualifying as traditional trauma-driven porn addicts, it appears these non-trauma-driven individuals have developed a “conditioned” addiction to pornography.

Typically, conditioned porn addicts start viewing porn at a young age, often before puberty hits. And then they fail to move beyond this easily accessed sexual outlet. For these individuals, porn serves as both sex education and sexual fulfillment. The unfortunate result of this is that the user’s emotional and psychological development in terms of sexuality and relationships can be stunted – beginning and ending with what they learn from porn. As such, their ability to form and maintain meaningful real-world romantic and sexual attachments may not develop or may not fully develop in the usual ways.

Initial treatment for conditioned porn addicts mirrors treatment for traditional addicts. In other words, early work is focused on stopping addictive behavior, breaking through denial, managing the crisis or crises that precipitated treatment, and developing tactics to combat triggers and relapse. At that point, because conditioned porn addiction is not driven by trauma, the treatment approach diverges. Rather than working to resolve early-life trauma, treatment transitions toward social development – learning how to develop and maintain real-world romantic and sexual connections. Admittedly, not all conditioned porn addicts are entirely bereft when it comes to real-world relationships. In fact, some are quite adept socially. But the majority need to be walked through the adolescent and early adult stages of social development to some degree, and that, rather than trauma resolution, is the second-level treatment focus for this population.

In SCA we not only learn how to stop the addictive behaviors but also how to grow spiritually to live a more fulfilling life.

QUESTIONS & THOUGHTS

12 Step Weekly Workshops

Through a precise personal application of all Twelve Steps in the textbook Alcoholics Anonymous, attendees will experience the process for radical change in the way they think, feel and behave. Participants will identify their sources of serial suffering and chronic unhappiness. These workshops reveal resources and tools for healing and a life that flourishes. Each person has the opportunity to learn and practice skills which establish and foster a sense of well-being and joy. This 12 Step process promises enlightenment for all who embrace and incorporate this Way of Life.

Commitment:
Pray each day: “Setting Aside” prior knowledge and experience.
Complete the reading assignment each week.
Listen each week to the pre-recorded workshop commentary for each Step.
Write each week for personal reflection, knowledge and deeper experience.
Attend each week to ask questions, discuss assignments and share experiences.
Have an unmarked Big Book, a binder for support material, paper and a pen.

Attendance is free, but registration is required. Access will be provided once you register. For more information: https://herbk.com/bigbook/

Questions & Thoughts

QUESTION:

9/23   How do you chose your sponsor? What are your and their’s expectations?

Please submit your Thoughts, Feelings or Experiences about this question to the e-mail address below. You can also submit a SCA related article, poem, post or etc. to be considered for publication to the same address:

scannereditor@sca-recovery.org

 

THOUGHTS:
8/’23   SCA’s “Statement of Purpose” is to help the addict who still suffers. A lot has changed in the last 50 years since SCA first addressed sexual addiction.  SCA’s Outreach team would appreciate hearing from you on what is and isn’t working, not only in your local meetings but in general with how sexual compulsion/addiction is being addressed today?
Anonymous – SCA Los Angeles
SCA originally started in the gay communities of Los Angeles and New York, and is non-discriminating open to anyone suffering from sexual compulsion.  I believe that most therapists and treatment centers still think of SCA as the place to recommend only to their LGBTQ clients.  I think more people are seeking help from professionals first before attending any 12 Step “S” group and not finding their way to our meetings.  Many people are not “acting out” but “acting in”.  With the advent of Apps, social media, free porn, it’s easier to isolate into the disease .  Even on line meetings are a bit isolating. As the nature of the disease has changed, SCA has kept up and produced some of the best literature available. With more Outreach, we can let the the health professionals become better informed about us and we can again become more available.
Gordon B.- Chair, SCA New York Intergroup
My experience is that SCA meeting attendance waxes and wanes. Currently, we are going  through a transition period, in which a number of New York members attend our in-person meetings while avoiding Zoom meetings. Other NY members stick to Zoom but do not attend in-person meetings. We have a growing number of members who do not live in New York. For them, our Zoom meetings are a lifeline to the fellowship. Ideally, it would be great if those members eventually start their own in-person meetings locally. We are not yet at that point.  But we should be grateful for what we have.
As a member of NY Outreach, I get a steady stream of inquiries from people looking for help. Some of them attend a few meetings, then drift away. Others stay. Many newcomers struggle with a sense of shame in admitting to be a sex addictive/sexual compulsive, etc. But I believe that more people than ever are asking for help. The pandemic added to the sense of isolation that many of us feel. Porn usage continues to rise. I believe that our fellowship is doing what we can to help the sexual compulsive who still suffers, both inside and outside the rooms. We can let go of the result.