Tag: outreach

Can You Recognize Your Own Denial?

from a blog by Scott Brassart on December 29, 2025

One of the interesting things about addiction is that most addicts think they don’t have a problem. They think, Sure, if someone else was engaging in the same behaviors that I’m engaging in, that person would have a serious issue, but it’s OK for me because…

This is their denial.

Generally speaking, denial is a series of internal lies and deceits that manifest externally. In other words, addicts lie to themselves first, and then to others. It is lying to themselves that is most important because, based on that imperfect foundation of manufactured truth, their behaviors seem utterly reasonable to them in the moment of their obsession. Outsiders can easily dismantle this house of cards, but addicts cannot (or will not). They repeatedly defend their manufactured truth (their lies and deceit) until their world disintegrates into one crisis after another after another. And even then, they don’t give up easily.

With addiction, denial takes several different forms, the most common of which are listed below.

  • Blame/Externalization: My partner has gained a lot of weight since we got married, and that’s unattractive to me.
  • Entitlement: I work hard and I support my family, so I deserve to have some fun.
  • Justification: If I was in a relationship, I’d be having sex all the time, so why can’t I be sexual all the time when I’m single?
  • Minimization: All I’m doing is snorting a little cocaine when I have sex. It’s not like I’m using meth or injecting.
  • Rationalization: Everybody looks at porn and plays around with hookup apps. That’s just life in the modern world.
  • Victim Mentality: Everybody wants so much from me. I just feel overwhelmed and at the mercy of everyone in my life. And my only relief, the only time I feel in control, is when I’m using porn.

To combat denial, addicts must first uncover the lies they tell themselves (and then others). Then they must reframe those lies into truth by using responsible language. Typically, healing from sex addiction, porn addiction, and paired substance/sex addiction presents challenges that can’t be dealt with solely in one-on-on therapy. In fact, most sex, porn, and substance/sex addicts require external reinforcement and support from fellow recovering addicts if they hope to permanently change their deeply rooted patterns of behavior.

Language Without Accountability

  • I only did a few lines.
  • I usually wear a condom.
  • I get sensual massages.
  • One thing led to another.

Language With Accountability

  • I was high on cocaine.
  • I’ve had unsafe sex four times.
  • I see escorts.
  • I decided to get high and act out sexually.

When denial is uncovered and addressed in this way, it loses power over the addict. Without such work, addicts can (and will) find ways to ignore the seriousness of their addictive behaviors so they can continue with those behaviors. Unfortunately, without honesty, this willful ignorance – this denial – can go on for years.

 

Attraction rather than Promotion

SCA’s primary purpose and tradition is to carry it’s message to the sexual compulsive who still suffers. We are looking for help from anyone that may have internet experience with ways to ATTRACT those that may be interested or affected by CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder) to our websites: SCAnneronline.org, https://www.youtube.com/@SCA-Recovery, SCA-recovery.org and our various Intergroups and WhatsApp meetings.

Please feel free to contact the SCAnner’s editor with any thoughts, ideas and suggestions.

The Problem of Porn Addiction

To take the test, simply answer yes or no to each of the following questions.

  1. Do you ever feel overly distracted by, preoccupied with, or obsessed with pornography?
  2. When you start to use pornography, do you sometimes have trouble stopping, consistently looking at it for longer periods than intended?
  3. Do you ever use porn as a way to avoid stress, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, or other forms of emotional discomfort?
  4. After you use porn, do you sometimes regret it or feel depressed?
  5. Have you ever promised yourself or another person that you would stop using porn, only to break that promise later?
  6. Do you ever look forward to events with family/friends ending so you can look at porn?
  7. Have you ever kept secrets about or lied about your porn use?
  8. Have you ever experienced negative consequences related to your porn use, such as relationship trouble, social/emotional isolation, issues at work/school, etc.?
  9. Does your porn use potentially offend others, violate community standards, or place you in danger of arrest?
  10. Do you feel restless, irritable, or discontent when you are unable to use porn?

A ‘yes’ response to three or more of the ten questions listed above indicates that porn addiction may be an issue.

For a long time people with porn-related issues were thought to have a history of early-life trauma. Recently, however there is a new and rapidly growing subcategory of people struggling with pornography. These individuals meet the basic criteria used to identify addiction but lack the underlying early-life trauma that typically drives addictive behavior. Rather than qualifying as traditional trauma-driven porn addicts, it appears these non-trauma-driven individuals have developed a “conditioned” addiction to pornography.

Typically, conditioned porn addicts start viewing porn at a young age, often before puberty hits. And then they fail to move beyond this easily accessed sexual outlet. For these individuals, porn serves as both sex education and sexual fulfillment. The unfortunate result of this is that the user’s emotional and psychological development in terms of sexuality and relationships can be stunted – beginning and ending with what they learn from porn. As such, their ability to form and maintain meaningful real-world romantic and sexual attachments may not develop or may not fully develop in the usual ways.

Initial treatment for conditioned porn addicts mirrors treatment for traditional addicts. In other words, early work is focused on stopping addictive behavior, breaking through denial, managing the crisis or crises that precipitated treatment, and developing tactics to combat triggers and relapse. At that point, because conditioned porn addiction is not driven by trauma, the treatment approach diverges. Rather than working to resolve early-life trauma, treatment transitions toward social development – learning how to develop and maintain real-world romantic and sexual connections. Admittedly, not all conditioned porn addicts are entirely bereft when it comes to real-world relationships. In fact, some are quite adept socially. But the majority need to be walked through the adolescent and early adult stages of social development to some degree, and that, rather than trauma resolution, is the second-level treatment focus for this population.

In SCA we not only learn how to stop the addictive behaviors but also how to grow spiritually to live a more fulfilling life.

“I want my RTV (Recovery Television).”

SCA New York is pleased to announce its Spring Show  “I want my RTV (Recovery Television).”
 
Performances will be held on Saturday, May 2nd, at 7pm and Sunday, May 3rd, at 3pm at the TADA! theater, 15 West 28th Street, near Madison Square Park. 
 
Tickets are $35 plus online transaction fee.​
 
To buy tickets, click this link:

An SCA Outreach Weekend

Thanks to the efforts of Gordon B., Gary S., Robert A., and Brian V., SCA has reached out in new ways to hundreds of individuals in the addiction community trying to help those that may be suffering from SCBD (Sexual Compulsive Behavior Disorder).

SCA presented it’s first ever workshop and meeting at the AA Florida Roundup in Ft. Lauderdale. The session focused on the Characteristics – which were somewhat unfamiliar to many of the attendees – and the Tools of Recovery.  At the same time across the country in Phoenix, AZ, SCA was a first time exhibitor at the annual IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) Symposium.  This event was well attended by the most influential therapists and treatment facilities in this field.  Most of those that stopped by our both were not familiar with SCA and this was a great opportunity to enlighten them of all the good work that we do.  Those that knew of us, said that they refer many of their clients to our meetings and were happy to see us at this event.

We hope that SCA’s outreach will help grow our program, and in doing so will help our members recovery.

The Deadly Subculture of Internet Video Vigilantes by J.L.Flatley (edited for the SCAnner)