Month: May 2023

June 1st Meditation: Complacency

Thursday, June 1st

I randomly went to SCA meetings for a while but always arrived late and left early.

At some point, we may become complacent in our recovery and decide to “coast.” We might put off doing step work. Or we might cut back on using other tools, such as attending meetings, calling other members, and doing service. We may believe we are taking care of ourselves by going home early and skipping a meeting — then find ourselves online looking for compulsive sex.

“I was stressed from having to call my sponsor every week. I took a break but ended up bingeing on porn.”

We can choose self-care by regularly working on our SCA recovery and staying connected with our Higher Power and other recovering sexual compulsives. We remember that each seemingly minor decision we make can either bring us closer to sexual sobriety or closer to a slip.

We can drag ourselves to a meeting, even if we do not want to — especially if we do not want to. We can focus on simple things, such as recalling a slogan or reciting the Serenity Prayer. We might take on a service position, work on our creativity, or pursue a new career.

My recent slip was a wake-up call. Doing the work provides the self-care I need.

May 31st Meditation: The Three-second rule

Wednesday, May 31st

My heart aches with longing, wanting so badly to connect, but realizing that the desperate quality of my need can ironically push others away.

In our compulsion, we were often hyper-alert to the possibility of having sex. Many of us frequently stared at people within our physical or virtual surroundings. If we saw someone we were attracted to, we might have felt a sudden longing that was both painful and exciting.

We may have been captivated. We may have objectified them, putting them on an imaginary pedestal while feeling a sense of exhilaration. If we had a chance to spend time with them, our fantasies intensified.

Unable to break out of this cycle, we found ourselves continuing to pursue unavailable people. We slipped into a downward spiral of compulsivity and illusion, and we didn’t know how to fulfill our need for these idealized connections.

As we work our recovery, we begin to experience changes that enable us to let go of feelings of desperation and low self-worth. Our lives become more than the compelling need for the next sexual encounter, fix of validation, or the distraction of a new obsession.

We learn to follow the “three-second rule,” allowing ourselves three seconds to appreciate the person we see, then turn our attention to the next right thought or action.

We will stop pursuing those who are unavailable to us or who would reject or abuse us.

NEW SCA PAMPHLET NOW AVAILABLE

This pamphlet focuses on Pornography, Software Apps (Computer based and Mobile), and the Internet and their role in addiction and can also be found in the 3rd edition of SCA’s A Program of Recovery, Chapter 17.

Pornography, Apps & Internet Addiction – Available for $3.50 in the SCA Literature Store.

https://sca-recovery.org/WP/literature-and-resources/store/

SCA LOS ANGELES RETREAT

                                                                     

The next retreat is June 2-4, 2023.  Please use the link below to register!

Registration covers the cost of meals, lodging, workshops, snacks and fellowship for the retreat.
Please register early to reserve your space and help us plan our headcount with the house.

To secure your spot, please follow the link to register and pay online:
Click here to Register online

Please consider an additional donation to the scholarship fund – continued scholarship assistance is dependent on donations received.

 

ISO 2023 Conference Summary

Summary of SCA’s ISO 2023 Conference

The International Service Organization of Sexual Compulsives Anonymous held its annual conference this past weekend: April 21st through 23rd, 2023.

Below are some of the conference’s highlights, which took place on Zoom.

Delegates representing 73 meetings attended the conference or voted by proxy. We also heard group reports from most domestic groups and scattered international meetings, particularly SCA in Japan.

Recovery book sales (print & e-book)

Since the ISO released the new Recovery Book (print version) on November 17, 2021, sales have been steady. Through March 31, 2023, the ISO has sold 450 copies of the print edition and 213 e-Book versions through Amazon Kindle, Apple, and Google.

Decisions made and Actions taken

An ISO By-Laws Amendment was unanimously approved: That the Executive Committee members, excluding the Outside (non-member) Director, being officers of the corporation who represent SCA in dealings with active sexual compulsives and the public, are required to have at least two (2) years of SCA membership and one (1) year of sobriety on their Sexual Recovery Plan.

Fiduciary motions:

ISO approved a revised budget for 2023 and (2) set aside capital funds to print versions of the Porn, Apps & Internet Addiction chapter of our Recovery Book and the Step Workbook (see Inreach motion below).

Outreach motions:

ISO approved a motion to sell the SCA Recovery Book to bookstores at the same 40 % discount available to SCA meetings. Outreach is expected to contact such bookstores, informing them about the book and asking them to consider offering it for public sale.

(a) ISO will provide the Recovery Book and other SCA literature and information to jails, prisons, recovery centers, and judicial organizations addressing sexual addiction. These institutions will also be offered the opportunity to purchase our literature at the 40 % meeting discount rate.

(b) Budgeted $1,000 to provide single copies of the Recovery book and other SCA literature to jails, prisons, and recovery centers.

Inreach motion:

Fully approved the proposed SCA Step Workbook for conference-wide use. The piece had initially been submitted to ISO in 2022 for consideration. It was subsequently reviewed and edited by an ISO Literature Development project team, which incorporated various suggestions from the fellowship at large. The approved Step Workbook will be placed on our international website as a fillable PDF and will also be printed for sale.

Literature Development:

A Literature Development project team is reviewing the draft SCA Meditations book. The final draft will be submitted to the ISO later this year for consideration at the 2024 ISO Conference. Meanwhile, the current versions are posted daily on the website: www.sca-recovery.org and https://scanneronline.org.

New ISO officers

In keeping with our rotation of service policy, half of the ISO Executive Committee positions were up for election.

  • ISO Chair: Joy D. (NY) was re-elected ISO Chair and President of the (Non-profit 501c3) corporation for a final 2-year term.
  • Outreach Chair: Frank C. (NY) was elected Outreach Chair for a 2-year term, succeeding Sherry G. (St. Louis).
  • Outside Director: Dr. Alexandra Katehakis finished her second 2-year term this past weekend and is ineligible to serve a 3rd consecutive term. The ISO is looking for a new Outside (non-member) Director.

Other officers remaining in place this year are:

  • The Inreach Chair: Tony D. (NY) – term expires in 2024.
  • Fiduciary Chair: Matthew C. (NY) – term expires in 2024.
  • Director-at-Large: Gordon B. (NY)- term expires in 2024.

 

Future ISO conferences:

The date of the 2024 conference has yet to be determined, but it is likely to take place in mid-late April on Zoom.The  ISO plans to hold an in-person 2025 conference in one of our host cities (TBD).  Between annual conferences, there will be three quarterly conference calls: Saturday, July 15th, Saturday, October 14th, and Saturday, January 20th, 2024.

If you wish to learn more about the ISO and how it serves the SCA fellowship, please get in touch with any of the above officers or email atlarge@sca-recovery.org.

Yours in service,

Gordon B.

ISO Director-at-Large

New meetings: Milwaukee (in-person) & Europe (Zoom)

SCA Milwaukee has added an in-person meeting: Saturday at 8:30 am (Central USA time) at the MKE LGBT Center. 315 W. Court Street, Milwaukee WI 53212. Parking is abundantly available nearby.

A one-hour European (English-language) Zoom meeting takes place Thursdays at 8 pm (Central European time) in the following Zoom room: 787 716 2543.  The password is: 820626