Tag: Fellowship

Did You Know

July 6, 2026 marks the thirtieth anniversary of the inauguration of the SCA online meetings and, stemming from them, the Online Intergroup.

In fact, this month sees Online Intergroup celebrating all of:

  • 30 years of online meetings.
  • 15 years of telephone meetings.
  • 5 plus years of their own, independent website.

The Online Intergroup is the original provider of electronic meetings to the SCA Fellowship, they provide online and telephone meetings, and do not hold any in-person or hybrid meetings.

The Online Intergroup’s online meetings are traditional message board meetings, also known as discussion forums, where members post shares and other members can reply later, where allowed. They are not chat rooms, with real time interactions between participants, but asynchronous platforms.

The Topic Meeting, our oldest meeting, began on July 6, 1996. Organized by John F. of New York and later Paris, the online meetings grew out of the establishment of the main SCA website, SCA-Recovery.org. The first poster was SCA Co-founder Frank H. of New York. He suggested that the new online meeting should have a topic, and the meeting became the Online Topic Meeting. Typically, the meeting has had two topics per month over the years, but we currently have a monthly topic. This month’s topic is a golden oldie, Step One. We are now posting an extract from recovery literature on the topic for members to reflect on as well. Members share on the topic for themselves, and are asked not to comment on what others have said.

The Feedback Meeting, for more general sharing on SCA-related subjects, soon followed the start of the Topic Meeting, and allows feedback from other members. Its formal name is the “Feedback for Recovery Meeting.” It quickly became and remains the most visited online meeting. Feedback is not advice or criticism. It can simply mean identifying with the poster, sharing words of encouragement, or relaying program slogans or tools that have helped the responder. Through these discussions, we deepen our understanding of the subjects raised in order to further our recovery.

The Acting In Meeting is our newest meeting, some 5 years old, and is where members can share experience, strength and hope on subjects relating to acting-in behaviors connected with sexual compulsion as they choose. Again, feedback is not advice or criticism. Broad expressions of acting in can be things like the compulsive avoidance of sex or sexual anorexia, fear and avoidance of intimacy, romantic obsession, love addiction, obsessive preoccupation with sexual or romantic fantasy, over-exercising, social anxiety, social anorexia and similar issues. For some, this might involve sexual codependency, such as a person not paying attention to what they want, or do not want, sexually.

There are other areas of our site separate from the online meetings, such as the Recovery Lounge for socializing and fellowship, and the Chips & Medallions Area where members celebrating a recovery anniversary can request and be awarded a chip or medallion.

Online Intergroup also hosted some very popular daily IRC (Internet Relay Chat) meetings for a number of years, starting in 1999, but those closed down in around 2008.

In July, 2011, Online Intergroup began putting on weekly telephone meetings, beginning on Sundays but soon expanding to Wednesdays and Fridays as well by April, 2014. All three phone meetings are still being held weekly. These are voice calls offered through a telephone and internet conferencing service that is free to members, barring exceptional cases where charges may apply depending on the dial-in number called by the member, if they are not participating via the app online. July 17, 2026 marks the fifteenth anniversary of the telephone meetings.

Online Intergroup hosted its meetings on the main SCA website for 24 years, until June, 2020, when we moved to a separate website. We maintained our original site format for several months, then inaugurated our brand new, independent, modern, custom-designed and custom-built website on September 30, 2020. This hosts all of the above online meetings and the sign-up information and mechanism for the telephone meetings, together with copious recovery resources.

All of our meetings can be reached via our website:

https://onlinesca.org/

Online Intergroup experienced some challenging years during and after the pandemic with the transition from our previous telephone conferencing service to our current, newer-generation one, and persistent technical difficulties with the registration system for the online meetings, but we have now put those behind us and are up-to-date on member registrations and general site functioning. Next on the agenda is to update some texts and restore some degraded content on the site, for which work is getting underway. We are also aiming to add content and return to some planned parts of the website that did not get completed previously.

All SCA members and all those with a desire to recover from sexual compulsion worldwide are welcome to join our meetings. Online Intergroup has had its ups and down over the years, and our meetings are generally smaller and quieter than they have been historically, but we are set on maintaining, restoring and growing our recovery community. We are happy to have reached these milestones in carrying the SCA message of recovery, and look forward to arriving at many more in the coming years!

Happy anniversary to all online and telephone meeting members, past and present!

Can You Recognize Your Own Denial?

from a blog by Scott Brassart on December 29, 2025

One of the interesting things about addiction is that most addicts think they don’t have a problem. They think, Sure, if someone else was engaging in the same behaviors that I’m engaging in, that person would have a serious issue, but it’s OK for me because…

This is their denial.

Generally speaking, denial is a series of internal lies and deceits that manifest externally. In other words, addicts lie to themselves first, and then to others. It is lying to themselves that is most important because, based on that imperfect foundation of manufactured truth, their behaviors seem utterly reasonable to them in the moment of their obsession. Outsiders can easily dismantle this house of cards, but addicts cannot (or will not). They repeatedly defend their manufactured truth (their lies and deceit) until their world disintegrates into one crisis after another after another. And even then, they don’t give up easily.

With addiction, denial takes several different forms, the most common of which are listed below.

  • Blame/Externalization: My partner has gained a lot of weight since we got married, and that’s unattractive to me.
  • Entitlement: I work hard and I support my family, so I deserve to have some fun.
  • Justification: If I was in a relationship, I’d be having sex all the time, so why can’t I be sexual all the time when I’m single?
  • Minimization: All I’m doing is snorting a little cocaine when I have sex. It’s not like I’m using meth or injecting.
  • Rationalization: Everybody looks at porn and plays around with hookup apps. That’s just life in the modern world.
  • Victim Mentality: Everybody wants so much from me. I just feel overwhelmed and at the mercy of everyone in my life. And my only relief, the only time I feel in control, is when I’m using porn.

To combat denial, addicts must first uncover the lies they tell themselves (and then others). Then they must reframe those lies into truth by using responsible language. Typically, healing from sex addiction, porn addiction, and paired substance/sex addiction presents challenges that can’t be dealt with solely in one-on-on therapy. In fact, most sex, porn, and substance/sex addicts require external reinforcement and support from fellow recovering addicts if they hope to permanently change their deeply rooted patterns of behavior.

Language Without Accountability

  • I only did a few lines.
  • I usually wear a condom.
  • I get sensual massages.
  • One thing led to another.

Language With Accountability

  • I was high on cocaine.
  • I’ve had unsafe sex four times.
  • I see escorts.
  • I decided to get high and act out sexually.

When denial is uncovered and addressed in this way, it loses power over the addict. Without such work, addicts can (and will) find ways to ignore the seriousness of their addictive behaviors so they can continue with those behaviors. Unfortunately, without honesty, this willful ignorance – this denial – can go on for years.

 

“I want my RTV (Recovery Television).”

SCA New York is pleased to announce its Spring Show  “I want my RTV (Recovery Television).”
 
Performances will be held on Saturday, May 2nd, at 7pm and Sunday, May 3rd, at 3pm at the TADA! theater, 15 West 28th Street, near Madison Square Park. 
 
Tickets are $35 plus online transaction fee.​
 
To buy tickets, click this link:

Sexual Sobriety

Various definitions

Many people who come to this website are struggling with some aspect of sexual behavior that could be called addictive, compulsive, obsessive, dependent, or otherwise out-of-control (all various ways of saying basically the same thing, which is that a person is powerless over some aspect of his or her sexual behavior and that his or her life has become unmanageable).

Sexual Sobriety Definitions Vary

The definition of what constitutes sexual “sobriety” is not the same among the five different fellowships.  Knowing these differences can be helpful in deciding which fellowship best suits the individual needs of each person seeking sexual recovery. There are at least five different 12-Step fellowships that address a person’s sexual behavior.  They are all based on the original 12-step fellowship, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).  From the time of its founding in the 1930’s. A.A. has been so successful in helping people recover from alcohol dependence that its format has been adapted to many other behaviors.  Several different fellowships for achieving sexual sobriety originated in different parts of the country within a few years of each other.

SCA states that: “Members are encouraged to develop their own sexual recovery plan, and to define sexual sobriety for themselves. We are not here to repress our God-given sexuality, but to learn how to express it in ways that will not make unreasonable demands on our time and energy, place us in legal jeopardy — or endanger our mental, physical or spiritual health.”

Although the SCA fellowship originally sought to address issues of sexual compulsion among gay and bisexual men, it has always been open to all sexual genders and orientations, and there is an increasing number of women and heterosexual men participating.

(posted from the SCA Atlanta’s website: https://atlantasexaddicts.com/gasca)

 

SCA Toronto Celebrates 25 Years

October 1, 2025 marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of SCA meetings in Toronto.

The Toronto group has decided to celebrate this occasion by going out for dinner and having a cake for dessert after their regular 6:30 p.m. meeting on Friday, November 7, 2025.

Anyone who has attended an SCA meeting in Toronto in the past is welcome to join this celebration. Please RSVP by October 31st at  scatoronto@hotmail.com  if you plan to attend. We hope to see as many members as possible there!

To mark this occasion, the group will also be publishing an updated summary history of SCA’s presence in Toronto, expanding on the original version that was submitted to ISO and published on the SCAnner in October, 2015.

Happy Anniversary Toronto!

 

ISO’s 2025 Annual Conference in St. Louis

Update from Sharon S., ISO Chair:

In April we convened ISO’s Annual Conference in St. Louis — in person for the first time since 2019! We also welcomed folks from around the world via Zoom. A huge thanks to the planning committee for hosting a great meeting!

ISO’s Annual Conference is our fellowship’s business meeting, where we share how and what SCA meetings and intergroups are doing across the world. We talk about how best to reach newcomers and support members. We note our progress and challenge ourselves to do more.

It was fantastic to be together in person this year! I’ve been on many of Zoom calls with SCA Executive Committee members and fellows I feel quite connected to that I have never actually been in the same room with. Meeting in person strengthened our relationships and deepened trust. 

Here are some meeting highlights from our three-day conference:

New Characteristic about sexual anorexia

One of the most significant decisions made at this year’s ISO was to add a new Characteristic about sexual anorexia/avoidance to The Characteristics Most of Us Seem to Have in Common. You can read the history of this decision in the minutes. Here is the new characteristic:

We were sexually anorexic: in despair about our lack of physical and emotional intimacy with ourselves and others, yet unaware of how much we feared and avoided it.

SCA has a YouTube Channel

Gary S. and his Outreach team built a SCA YouTube Channel in 2024! Check it out to see the great content they’re creating and be sure to subscribe! (https://www.youtube.com/@SCA-Recovery) 

Audio Recovery Book in development

Gordon B., our Fiduciary Chair, is working to create an audio version of SCA’s Recovery Book that will be available for purchase on Amazon. We’ll keep you posted.

Executive Board Elections

Gary S. was reelected for a two-year term as Outreach Chair

Randy S. was elected as Director at Large, stepping in for Charles D. who resigned the position earlier this year. Thank you, Charles, for your service!

Tami V. was reelected for another one-year term as Outside Director

I was elected for a two-year term as ISO Chair

Emphasis on our 7th Tradition

We budgeted $4,000 for the 2025 ISO Annual Conference, and I’m happy to report that we came in under budget at $3,053!

ISO’s modest budget supports meetings, our website, literature creation and translation, and outreach to newcomers. As we built our 2026 budget, we reflected on the importance of our 7th tradition — that SCA is self-supporting through the contributions of its members. Your gifts help meetings buy literature, rent meeting space, and sponsor workshops. ISO receives a portion of the contributions you make to your meetings and intergroups. Please consider chipping in when you attend a meeting — your donations are vital in helping us reach the still-suffering addict.

If you’d like to read the Minutes from the Conference, contact the SCAnner editor. A Special thanks to Recording Secretary Maranda T. for her efforts!

An SCA Outreach Weekend

Thanks to the efforts of Gordon B., Gary S., Robert A., and Brian V., SCA has reached out in new ways to hundreds of individuals in the addiction community trying to help those that may be suffering from SCBD (Sexual Compulsive Behavior Disorder).

SCA presented it’s first ever workshop and meeting at the AA Florida Roundup in Ft. Lauderdale. The session focused on the Characteristics – which were somewhat unfamiliar to many of the attendees – and the Tools of Recovery.  At the same time across the country in Phoenix, AZ, SCA was a first time exhibitor at the annual IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) Symposium.  This event was well attended by the most influential therapists and treatment facilities in this field.  Most of those that stopped by our both were not familiar with SCA and this was a great opportunity to enlighten them of all the good work that we do.  Those that knew of us, said that they refer many of their clients to our meetings and were happy to see us at this event.

We hope that SCA’s outreach will help grow our program, and in doing so will help our members recovery.

What really causes Addiction?

A talk by Johann Hari suggests that everything you think you know about addiction is wrong.  As he has watched loved ones struggle to manage their addictions, he started to wonder why we treat addicts the way we do — and if there might be a better way.

The opposite of Addiction is not abstinence or sobriety. The opposite of Addiction is CONNECTION. In SCA we connect to others that share our addiction. We connect to a fellowship that supports us and we can connect to a Higher Power, a spirituality that unconditionally loves and guides us.

Could addiction be about isolation and being disconnected from society? Listen to this TED talk by Johann Hari for some interesting insights on this subject.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs

Questions & Thoughts

“I am hopping and trying to find meetings with open communication. This will only help me with my own Honesty, Shame, Trust, Hope, Strength & Willingness to Learns and to Stay & Remain OPEN Always .. Please 🙏 Any HELP IS & Will be Appreciated”  – D.W.

Dear D.W.,

All SCA meetings support member’s sharing their feelings, experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from sexual compulsion. If our behavior was illegal, we might seek out someone (like our sponsor) with whom we can be entirely honest without fear of consequences and choose to share our feelings at meetings instead of the details.  We ask members to respect the anonymity and confidentiality of every person we meet and everything we hear at meetings.

Anonymity assures that our meetings are safe for those in pain. This respect of anonymity keeps the program safe for members and prospective members to attend. Through the anonymity offered at meetings, we find a refuge where we are neither judged nor shamed.  Many of our meeting’s format have a sharing portion where members may share breakthroughs or breakdowns in their program, ask questions, get current on situations in their lives, or just express honest feelings they may be in touch with. Crosstalk is discouraged and is defined as: Giving advice, criticizing, or making comments about someone else’s share, questioning or interrupting the person speaking, talking while someone is sharing, or speaking directly to another person rather than to the group.

We suggest attending a few meeting to find a “home” meeting that you feel most comfortable.  We have available in-person, on line, virtual and hybrid meetings that can be found on our website: sca-recovery.org