QUESTION: 11/’23 “I don’t like bothering other people with my problems.” Do I really need a Sponsor in order to do the SCA Program?
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Back in AA’s early days, a sponsor was a member who would visit hospitals and “drying-out” facilities and offer to take responsibility for one of their patients. That meant not only that they would encourage them to go to AA meetings and work their recovery, but also might find them housing (Including inviting them into their own homes) and agree to be financially responsible for their sponsee.That level of commitment changed many years ago, and has never existed in SCA. The third tool in the SCA Recovery Book says “Sponsorship is two people with the same problem helping each other to work the program. It can provide a framework for a Sexual Recovery Plan and for doing the Twelve Steps, and can bring emotional support at difficult times.”
I found a sponsor in my first few months of SCA. He guided me through making my Sexual Recovery Plan and helped me with my Step work, though I was also a member of an independent Step writing group. These days, I don/t often need to call my sponsor: in fact he more often calls me. But that’s fine. For me, Sponsorship is a relationship of trust, honesty and mutual respect. I help him, and he helps me—as the SCA tool suggests. But I also have other program friends to whom I can turn.
To summarize: having a Sponsor greatly helped me in early recovery, especially by encouraging me to work the Steps. I no longer feel that I need a Sponsor, but I value our relationship.
Gordon B. (NY)