Monday, August 3rd
I had no insight into why I was acting out. I couldn’t break the cycle.
Many of us enter recovery with mixed feelings about the Steps. Phrases such as “powerlessness and unmanageability” can make sense, though they might offend us. Believing that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity may sound improbable.
Yes, we have done foolish and harmful things to ourselves and others in our sexual compulsion. We can admit that, or we probably wouldn’t be here. But how do we go from being self-willed people to asking for help from some mysterious power greater than ourselves?
Few of us label ourselves as “insane.” However, if one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, we might think of ourselves as engaging in insane behavior. Haven’t we collected enough evidence to know that our compulsion is lying to us? Yet, despite that evidence, we may still want to act out.
To begin, we take different actions to get different results. By letting go of denial, by sharing, and by listening to shares, we gradually break out of our former mindset and accept that we are already getting help from the Higher Power we had resisted. Through living Step Two, our faith in a Higher Power grows.
I alone cannot restore myself to sanity.