Jan. 23rd Meditation: Spirituality in Recovery

Sunday, January 23rd

Some of us realized that we needed to have a spiritual awakening to recover what we had lost as active sexual compulsives.

“I was ‘white-knuckling’ it, trying to convince myself and other members that I was sober. But I wasn’t feeling particularly sober: I missed going to those acting-out places, cruising the apps, hoping for the magical connection that would satisfy me. I had frequent episodes of euphoric recall that made me feel desperate to re-live some of those experiences.”

The withdrawal process helps us understand that we are searching for a power greater than ourselves. As we work the Twelve Steps, we start to grasp the concept of a gentle, loving Higher Power whose care can restore us to sanity.

Surrendering our will isn’t easy. But we can see how doing so has helped other members. As we gradually develop trust in the process, we become free from the bondage of our compulsion and learn to accept our sexuality as God’s gift to us. We realize we are not empty; in fact, we have always been whole. Our character defects are wounds to be healed, not something innate.

My attachments to my former compulsive activities have faded. Through this powerful shift, I have found real contentment in my life.

Jan. 22nd Meditation: On Anxiety

Saturday, January 22nd

I just wanted to die. The pain was unbearable, and I had no safe place and nowhere to turn.

When anxiety gripped us and wouldn’t let us go, we frequently turned to sex as a means of escape. And while sex seemed like the perfect potion for anxiety, it couldn’t address the underlying conditions that made us anxious in the first place – insecurity, trauma, pain, and fear. We inevitably came down from the high of compulsive sex to find that those conditions were still there, often more powerful and unmanageable than before.

“I learned at an early age that life is a terrifying ordeal to be overcome through willpower and sheer self-determination.”

But with the help of the program and our higher power, we take an honest look at ourselves. By being honest, open, and willing, we gradually learn to recognize, trust, and express genuine feelings. We start to show compassion for ourselves. Our depression and anxiety begin to lift.

In the early days of recovery, it is reassuring to know that we are not alone, that others have been through similar experiences. As our trust in this group of recovering sexual compulsives grows, we find acceptance, safety, and community.

Trials will inevitably come my way, but I feel that I will be able to face them squarely and with some serenity.

E-Book Version of Avoiding Common Pitfalls – 2nd Edition Now Available for Sale

E-Book Version of Avoiding Common Pitfalls is now available for sale on any of our three (3) E-Book platforms. This version contains all of the revisions and additions included in the corresponding chapter in the new Recovery Book. The price for the E-Book is $0.99.


Available on Apple iBooks here

Available of Amazon Kindle here

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Other E-Book versions of chapters containing new material will be available in the coming months.