Jan. 29th Meditation: Withdrawal from Sexual Compulsion

Sunday, January 29th

Compulsive sex became a drug which we used to escape from feelings such as anxiety, loneliness, anger, and self-hatred, as well as joy.

“Sexual acting out served me by repressing what I would not allow myself to feel. It kept me from any authentic feeling. I lived in the fog of active sexual compulsion.”

Many of us found it easy to lose ourselves in our sexual behaviors. While sex seemed to be the perfect potion for anxious feelings, it couldn’t address underlying conditions such as insecurity, trauma, pain, and fear. When we inevitably came down from the high of compulsive sex, our pain and anxiety were still there.

By working the Twelve Steps and utilizing the program’s tools, we begin to transform ourselves. Our lives become more than the compelling need for sexual encounters, external validation, or distracting obsessions. We start to focus on our personal growth and set goals and boundaries for living in recovery.

“I remember feeling that if I didn’t act out, I would die. But God’s grace and the support of other recovering sexual compulsives have helped me through that pain and continue to provide me with support, time and time again.”

 I get a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of my spiritual condition.

Jan. 28th Meditation: On Program Calls

Saturday, January 28th

I avoided making calls because it was much easier to isolate in my compulsive state.

In working on our recovery from sexual compulsion, we can establish healthy, affirming connections with others. Calling our sponsor or another program member can help us break out of the isolation that is so strongly a part of our disease.

Making a program call can be considered a leap of faith and requires willingness. We may not know how it will turn out, and we may not hear what we expected to hear. But we also open ourselves up to receiving a new perspective on our situation. Talking about our problem with loving, supportive people is one of the most valuable things we can do for ourselves in the program.

Such calls can be used as a daily check-in tool and are especially helpful during a crisis or when we need to hear a calm, friendly, supportive voice.

Receiving calls or answering the phone is a service we can offer one another. Listening takes skill and patience and can be a loving, positive act for someone asking us for help. We can try to be the channel of our Higher Power’s wisdom in responding to the caller.

Hearing another program member’s voice reminds me that I am not alone.