June 19th Meditation: Replacing Our Old Behaviors

Thursday, June 19th

I want to replace my harmful acting out behavior with positive new behaviors.

As recovering sexual compulsives, we might be confused or fearful about how to construct the third column, or outer circle, of our Sexual Recovery Plan. Sexual compulsion may currently dominate our lives to the extent that we cannot focus on the prospect of activities to replace it.

In early recovery, we hear about the purpose of a Sexual Recovery Plan. We try to identify which sexual activities have harmed us or others and determine the actions needed to change those behaviors.

We cannot get sober in a vacuum. Merely stopping the destructive behavior is just the beginning: we strive to replace our acting out with healthy new activities.

We try to be realistic by engaging in activities that we are willing to do and find enjoyable. There is no need to add activities simply to impress others. We decide what works for us at this moment and can freely adjust our list at any time.

We recognize our desires and then decide how to realize them. We can seek our Higher Power’s guidance in determining which fulfilling activities may be appropriate for us. Over time, we will find it easier to integrate them into our daily lives.

For me, abstinence is not recovery; living in my third column is.

June 18th Meditation: Spiritual and Emotional Growth

Wednesday, June 18th

This compulsion to escape my emptiness became a familiar state of mind, and it drove me to act out.

Many of us felt a growing emptiness through our active compulsion — a “hole in the soul” that made us want to escape our feelings. We acted out because we were accustomed to doing so and did not know or had forgotten other ways to feel validated and complete. We created barriers that separated us from others, and we often rejected any feeling of self-worth or emotional connection.

By attending meetings, we hear others share their stories and begin to identify with the feelings — not necessarily the details — of their experience, strength, and hope. Gradually, we learn to share our feelings without fear of judgment or exclusion.

Using the Steps and Tools, we can find new perspectives and open ourselves to spiritual growth. As our lives start to improve, we begin to entrust outcomes to our Higher Power and focus on doing the work of recovery.

By changing our behaviors and accepting who we are, we can better live in the present. We show compassion for ourselves and others and learn to express our emotions freely instead of trying to escape them.

We will realize we are not empty; in fact, we have always been whole.

ISO’s 2025 Annual Conference in St. Louis

Update from Sharon S., ISO Chair:

In April we convened ISO’s Annual Conference in St. Louis — in person for the first time since 2019! We also welcomed folks from around the world via Zoom. A huge thanks to the planning committee for hosting a great meeting!

ISO’s Annual Conference is our fellowship’s business meeting, where we share how and what SCA meetings and intergroups are doing across the world. We talk about how best to reach newcomers and support members. We note our progress and challenge ourselves to do more.

It was fantastic to be together in person this year! I’ve been on many of Zoom calls with SCA Executive Committee members and fellows I feel quite connected to that I have never actually been in the same room with. Meeting in person strengthened our relationships and deepened trust.

Here are some meeting highlights from our three-day conference:

New Characteristic about sexual anorexia

One of the most significant decisions made at this year’s ISO was to add a new Characteristic about sexual anorexia/avoidance to The Characteristics Most of Us Seem to Have in Common. You can read the history of this decision in the minutes. Here is the new characteristic:

We were sexually anorexic: in despair about our lack of physical and emotional intimacy with ourselves and others, yet unaware of how much we feared and avoided it.

SCA has a YouTube Channel

Gary S. and his Outreach team built a SCA YouTube Channel in 2024! Check it out to see the great content they’re creating and be sure to subscribe! (https://www.youtube.com/@SCA-Recovery)

Audio Recovery Book in development

Gordon B., our Fiduciary Chair, is working to create an audio version of SCA’s Recovery Book that will be available for purchase on Amazon. We’ll keep you posted.

Executive Board Elections

Gary S. was reelected for a two-year term as Outreach Chair

Randy S. was elected as Director at Large, stepping in for Charles D. who resigned the position earlier this year. Thank you, Charles, for your service!

Tami V. was reelected for another one-year term as Outside Director

I was elected for a two-year term as ISO Chair

Emphasis on our 7th Tradition

We budgeted $4,000 for the 2025 ISO Annual Conference, and I’m happy to report that we came in under budget at $3,053!

ISO’s modest budget supports meetings, our website, literature creation and translation, and outreach to newcomers. As we built our 2026 budget, we reflected on the importance of our 7th tradition — that SCA is self-supporting through the contributions of its members. Your gifts help meetings buy literature, rent meeting space, and sponsor workshops. ISO receives a portion of the contributions you make to your meetings and intergroups. Please consider chipping in when you attend a meeting — your donations are vital in helping us reach the still-suffering addict.

If you’d like to read the Minutes from the Conference, contact the SCAnner editor. A Special thanks to Recording Secretary Maranda T. for her efforts!