Sept. 26th Meditation: Embracing healthy sexuality

Monday, September 26th

My sobriety was simple in a relationship: we were monogamous. But as a single person, I’m conflicted about how to express my sexuality soberly.

We joined SCA because we sought relief from our sexual acting out. In recovery, we read the Steps and may become willing to turn over our control to a Higher Power of our understanding. These precepts can provide a foundation for us to let go of our need for compulsive sex while freely choosing healthy sex, as we define it.

SCA’s Statement of Purpose says that we are not here to repress our sexuality but to express it in ways that will not hurt us but affirm us. Some of us might choose to abstain temporarily from sex as a means of harm reduction. In time, we may adjust our recovery plan to include sexual activity.

Some of us might want to express our sexuality through a relationship. Perhaps we may wish to remain single while seeking to embrace sexuality lovingly to ourselves and others. Sober sex is how we personally define it, whether casual, committed, multi-partnered, or solo: whatever works for us. As our lives expand, we can explore our true sexuality without shame.

Healthy sexuality expands reality; Compulsive sexuality creates a world of unreality.

Sept. 25th Meditation: Making program calls

Sunday, September 25th

Program calls scare me. What if I call someone, and they sound annoyed that I called them?

Making a program call can be considered a leap of faith. We reach out to another member on the phone, hoping to speak to them about some issues with our recovery. We may not know how the call will turn out and may not hear what we expect. We might fear that the member we call can’t talk to us right now. Dwelling on such disappointments can create a resentment. It can also add to feelings of low self-esteem and humiliation as if we are being “punished” for taking positive action.

Recovery seldom proceeds in a straight line. As we work our program, we will likely encounter frustrations and setbacks. SCA is a “we” program, but that doesn’t mean we will feel comfortable with everyone in the fellowship.

We can “right-size” a setback. If a phone call doesn’t work out the way we hoped, we call someone else. It’s not a big deal. We can remind ourselves that others have their own priorities, and we can let this one go, as we did with other resentments. We keep using the tools, including making phone calls, to help our sobriety.

That phone call reaffirmed my sense of connection and healing.


We need volunteers for ISO service

SCA’s International Service Organization exists to serve the worldwide SCA fellowship, fulfilling our Fifth Tradition, which states: “…to carry its message to the sexual compulsive who still suffers.” Carrying our message includes answering calls, emails, and letters, helping to support new meetings, writing, editing, and publishing recovery literature, and spreading SCA’s name to hospitals, rehab centers, doctors, therapists, and caregivers everywhere.

The ISO consists of members who volunteer their time and talents to help in these various areas. Right now, we need a member who can coordinate and supervise fiduciary matters, mainly involving project management and administration. This “behind-the-scenes” position helps to keep the organization functioning to fulfill its mission.

 Becoming the ISO Fiduciary Chair is not a “loner” job: you would work closely with other members who currently devote themselves to outreach, treasury, website service, inreach, and literature distribution.  If you are interested in volunteering, please be assured that the ISO and the worldwide membership will gratefully encourage and support your service.

We are also looking for members to help review and edit the SCA NY-approved Step workbook, so that it may be considered for possible approval at next April’s ISO conference.

If you wish to learn more about these or other ISO service positions, please contact either