Thursday, September 17th

I acted out to hide from my feelings. Now, I’m trying to get in touch with my emotions and find healthy ways to express them.

Many of us have tried to escape feelings of shame and low self-esteem through compulsive sex. We might have acted out to avoid our emotions and to repress pain or other intense thoughts. For some, compulsive sex became a ritual that smothered the need for connection and intimacy.

We may have been neglected in childhood or experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Some of us carry the weight of those traumas throughout our lives. Others may have repressed them or even forgotten them, only to have them resurface during recovery.

For some, shame and guilt continue to weigh heavily on our efforts to forgive our past. We might share our stories at meetings but realize that we still try to avoid those painful recollections.

As we recover from sexual compulsion, we may gain the courage to face these thoughts and feelings. We develop trust in our Higher Power and open ourselves to change. We may experience a release of emotions, perhaps through anger, grief, or resentment. We might be surprised to find ourselves sharing these deeply held feelings during meetings.

Letting go can lighten our burdens.

Gradually, we learn to recognize, trust, and express genuine feelings. 

Wednesday, September 16th

Unconditional acceptance and encouragement from other members have helped me to love myself, and I’m so grateful.

We entered recovery struggling with various problems related to sexual compulsion. Often, these included trust and intimacy issues. Our tendency to self-isolate drove many of us deeper into our compulsive behaviors. We may have instinctively felt embarrassed to ask anyone for help: we wanted to believe we could control our destinies.

As we attend meetings and hear other members share their experience, strength, and hope, we begin to see how being part of a community of recovering sexual compulsives can positively affect our lives. We can interact openly with people rather than conceal our thoughts and feelings. We respond with a willingness to say “yes” to our recovery.

By placing trust in our Higher Power, we open ourselves to positive change. Help and support are available; we have only to ask. We may be surprised by the support we get when we show our vulnerability. We see others ask for and get help, and we summon the courage and trust to do likewise. When we learn to use that support, we also find the strength to help others we meet on our recovery journey.

I keep coming back because I believe that my recovery works if I work it and live it.