Monday, November 16th
I hoped that being in a relationship would somehow “fix” me.
Many of us used compulsive sex and other acting out behaviors to escape negative feelings, including shame and low self-esteem. We feared intimacy yet sought connection and validation.
As our compulsion deepened, we felt a growing emptiness that those behaviors could not fill. We looked for a way to feel better about ourselves by connecting with others.
Many of us began to feel that having a relationship might provide the validation we wanted while relieving fears of loneliness. We hoped that being with another person would somehow make us feel whole. But we also feared closeness, which might have exposed our perceived weaknesses and defects to another.
By placing trust in our Higher Power, we may gain the self-acceptance that enables us to establish real connections with other people. We can let go of our need to control how we present ourselves to someone else and be authentic.
As we build self-esteem, we learn to love ourselves. In doing so, we can create space to love others. Pursuing relationships can seem daunting. By opening ourselves to change, we may experience intimacy — not based on secrecy, deception, and fear, but on honesty, openness, and a willingness to share our lives.
We will allow our Higher Power to be our guide in relationships.