Thursday, June 19th

I want to replace my harmful acting out behavior with positive new behaviors. 

As recovering sexual compulsives, we might be confused or fearful about how to construct the third column, or outer circle, of our Sexual Recovery Plan. Sexual compulsion may currently dominate our lives to the extent that we cannot focus on the prospect of activities to replace it.

In early recovery, we hear about the purpose of a Sexual Recovery Plan. We try to identify which sexual activities have harmed us or others and determine the actions needed to change those behaviors.

We cannot get sober in a vacuum. Merely stopping the destructive behavior is just the beginning: we strive to replace our acting out with healthy new activities.

We try to be realistic by engaging in activities that we are willing to do and find enjoyable. There is no need to add activities simply to impress others. We decide what works for us at this moment and can freely adjust our list at any time.

We recognize our desires and then decide how to realize them. We can seek our Higher Power’s guidance in determining which fulfilling activities may be appropriate for us. Over time, we will find it easier to integrate them into our daily lives.

For me, abstinence is not recovery; living in my third column is.

Wednesday, June 18th

This compulsion to escape my emptiness became a familiar state of mind, and it drove me to act out.

Many of us felt a growing emptiness through our active compulsion — a “hole in the soul” that made us want to escape our feelings. We acted out because we were accustomed to doing so and did not know or had forgotten other ways to feel validated and complete. We created barriers that separated us from others, and we often rejected any feeling of self-worth or emotional connection.

By attending meetings, we hear others share their stories and begin to identify with the feelings — not necessarily the details — of their experience, strength, and hope. Gradually, we learn to share our feelings without fear of judgment or exclusion.

Using the Steps and Tools, we can find new perspectives and open ourselves to spiritual growth. As our lives start to improve, we begin to entrust outcomes to our Higher Power and focus on doing the work of recovery.

By changing our behaviors and accepting who we are, we can better live in the present. We show compassion for ourselves and others and learn to express our emotions freely instead of trying to escape them.

We will realize we are not empty; in fact, we have always been whole.

Our Journey of Recovery: SCA Daily Meditations is now available in e-book format through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, and Google Books for $7.99. We will continue to post today’s (and tomorrow’s) meditation for free on our website each day. However, e-book users can click the “List of Titles” (an index) on each page to choose any topic or issue mentioned in any part of the book and instantly click the relevant texts. A slogan index is also linked to those texts. SCA plans to produce a print version of this book later this summer. Here are the links to the three e-book platforms.

Apple

https://books.apple.com/us/book/our-journey-of-recovery/id6503449662

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0D5N3ZFNY/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title

Google

https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=Tw4LEQAAQBAJ&pg=GBS.PT1