Tuesday, January 31st
He blamed his addiction on my sexual infidelities. I sought refuge in unsafe sex.
Many of us thought of a relationship as the ultimate goal in our search for meaningful expression of love, affection, and sexuality. We may have felt a powerful attraction to people who were inappropriate in one way or another. If we saw their character flaws, we ignored them. We may have been initially comfortable with our choices since we felt defective and should settle for whatever we could get.
Our need to hold onto a relationship sometimes forced us to compromise our values to satisfy the other person’s demands. We often felt humiliated by ignoring our boundaries, but we did not know how to stop. The strains caused by these conflicts made any semblance of intimacy unsustainable. Our codependency began to consume us; we felt trapped, but we were afraid to let go of what little we had.
“It seemed as if there was no way out, no hope at all.”
Working the Steps and using other recovery tools provide clarity about our situation. Learning to let go of lying to and about ourselves offers the opportunity to make lasting changes.
We develop healthy boundaries with others and learn intimacy skills, maintaining our right to be ourselves.
Letting go and taking the right actions have given me back my life.