Thursday, June 19th
I want to replace my harmful acting out behavior with positive new behaviors.
As recovering sexual compulsives, we might be confused or fearful about how to construct the third column, or outer circle, of our Sexual Recovery Plan. Sexual compulsion may currently dominate our lives to the extent that we cannot focus on the prospect of activities to replace it.
In early recovery, we hear about the purpose of a Sexual Recovery Plan. We try to identify which sexual activities have harmed us or others and determine the actions needed to change those behaviors.
We cannot get sober in a vacuum. Merely stopping the destructive behavior is just the beginning: we strive to replace our acting out with healthy new activities.
We try to be realistic by engaging in activities that we are willing to do and find enjoyable. There is no need to add activities simply to impress others. We decide what works for us at this moment and can freely adjust our list at any time.
We recognize our desires and then decide how to realize them. We can seek our Higher Power’s guidance in determining which fulfilling activities may be appropriate for us. Over time, we will find it easier to integrate them into our daily lives.
For me, abstinence is not recovery; living in my third column is.