Saturday, September 23rd
I stopped going to one meeting because I felt distracted by some of its members.
As recovering sexual compulsives, we may become attracted to other SCA members. This attraction may seem natural, but what can we do with those feelings?
Having sex with another member can derail our recovery by distracting us from our primary purpose. We may feel drawn to someone we see at a meeting. Perhaps they remind us of someone we knew or ourselves at a younger age. We might begin to fantasize about them. Such fantasies can be short-lasting, but they may become an obsession.
A fantasy that gets into our heads can eventually trigger a slip, either with that person or with someone else. Slips can add to our shame and might make us want to avoid meetings altogether so as not to feel humiliated in sharing what happened.
One way to break that cycle is to start a sober conversation with the person in question. Making their acquaintance helps us remove the mystique we created around them. To us, they can become another member working their recovery.
By using some of the tools, such as sharing honestly with our sponsor or other members, we may avoid complicating our lives and jeopardizing our recovery.
I heal through real connection, not fantasy and obsession.