Tuesday, July 21st

The behavior stops first, then the compulsion stops. It is not the other way around.

The AA Big Book phrase “Half measures availed us nothing” reminds us that working a program half-heartedly can cause us to conclude that the program does not work for us. We can choose at any time to recommit and devote time and energy to our recovery. With the help of our sponsors and other program friends, we may use the Steps and Tools to find a path toward freedom from our sexual compulsion.

“So many of life’s lessons involved my lack of commitment. My life had become vulgar and poverty-stricken.”

Without honesty, we remain in denial. Denial tells us that our lives are manageable and that our sexuality is under control. Without commitment, we might drift back and forth through periods of compulsion and withdrawal, holding onto our fears, shame, and resentments.

We may be reluctant to make such a commitment. But we may reach a point where we become able to let go of sexual compulsion as our Higher Power and discover a spirituality that works for us. We can reach that point by examining our lives and becoming willing to accept our Higher Power’s help.

Once we build up some trust that the God of our understanding cares for us, we start taking action to change our lives.

Recovery is a lifelong pursuit and goal, but it is always attainable, one day at a time.

Monday, July 20th

Working the Steps gave me insight into my character defects. Removing them was challenging.

The SCA program uses the phrase “character defects” to call attention to characteristics or behavioral traits that no longer serve us and prevent us from growing spiritually. Completing a fearless and moral inventory enables us to identify some of them. We may become aware of more defects as we work the Fifth Step with our sponsor or another trusted member of the fellowship.

“We learn to trust that the Higher Power of our understanding can remove our defects.”

We may find that life could be better without a particular defect, though this might not happen quickly. It might take time for the pain to reach the tipping point essential for surrender. Eventually, we become entirely ready for our Higher Power to remove that defect.

When we get a reprieve from our shortcomings, we may feel a sense of peace and serenity. We begin to see the miracle of transforming these shortcomings into character assets, which can nourish spiritual growth. We learn the importance of taking actions to enrich these character assets and to feel compassion for ourselves and others.

We become whole. We are able to accept our mistakes and move on.