Tuesday, October 20th
Dating felt awkward as if it was a job interview.
Many of us have mixed feelings about dating. We may have been accustomed to a “quick fix” approach in our compulsive sexual behavior. But we can choose to change that expectation and establish boundaries as part of a dating plan. First-date sex might not be on our agenda; getting to know and feel comfortable with the other person may become our goal.
We may have taken inventory and worked on our character defects and assets through Step work. But we might ask ourselves before dating: do I know what I want? Am I ready to let someone else know who I am?
By considering these questions, we can clarify our self-knowledge and expectations. Some of us have held onto perfectionism. This character trait might become a deal breaker if we expect our date to like only what we like or to measure up to our ideal of what they should be.
Without consciously thinking about it, we may have already defined a possible relationship. Establishing such limits is not the same as setting boundaries. We have slipped into wanting to take control.
Letting go of control frees us of perfectionist burdens and enables us to interact more easily with one another.
I accept who I am. I can share that honestly through dating.