Saturday, October 10th
No matter how many times I have fallen, I go back to a meeting and share my story.
Many of us can recall the adrenaline rush we got from compulsive sex. We felt that acting out was something we just had to do.
In recovery, we hear about the willingness to change. We might identify the harmful behaviors we wish to remove and seek to replace them with healthy, affirming activities. Creating a Sexual Recovery Plan can give us hope. Yet, we may begin to doubt that these measures will cause any lasting changes.
We start to rationalize these feelings. We might feel entitled to a “reward” for staying on our Sexual Recovery Plan or a “punishment” for not being perfect. Maybe something crops up that brings on new anxieties. At that point, a slip may be too tempting to avoid.
One way to work through the frustrations and shame from a slip is to acknowledge it and reconnect with the program, particularly by sharing at meetings. If we hold it in, we risk letting shame and isolation build up, setting us up for another slip that may escalate into a binge. Acknowledging shame reduces its impact and interrupts the compulsive cycle.
I shared about my slip in a meeting and felt affirmed by other members’ understanding and compassion.