Thursday, September 10th
I assumed for years that I could control my life and manage the lying and chaos.
In our compulsion, many of us developed sexual behaviors that became rituals. Our repeated actions often led us to create erroneous assumptions and beliefs about ourselves and our relations with others.
Many of our beliefs focused on judgment. We often judged ourselves and others harshly and may have used perfectionism as the standard measurement. Not surprisingly, they and we constantly fell short of our expectations, and these disappointments developed into new resentments that fed our compulsion.
These resentments may have evolved into core beliefs that affected our outlook on life and led to conflicts, frustrations, and unhappiness.
When we work the Steps, it becomes easier to see how we have caused harm, sometimes grievous harm, to ourselves and others while pursuing beliefs based on fallacies.
Taking inventory, identifying our character defects, praying (and working) to have them removed, and making amends enable us to let go of many of our false beliefs. We may make amends to ourselves, which can further strip away some of our confused assumptions and attitudes.
One truth is that we will live with ourselves for the rest of our lives: we can forgive, accept, and love ourselves.