Sunday, November 8th
I could not stop going to those awful acting-out places. They were my refuge.
In our compulsion, many of us channeled persistent feelings of shame and low self-esteem into sexual acting out. We often judged ourselves harshly, and our sense of worthlessness encouraged self-isolation. For many, sex provided a short-term escape from those negative emotions and the spiritual void that we often felt.
We often masked our anxieties and fears through denial and tried to hold onto our beliefs and routines. We might have resisted changing our behaviors, believing that sobriety would make things worse by depriving us of our few pleasures.
Many describe SCA as a program of self-acceptance, not self-improvement. When we learn to trust that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, we gradually open ourselves to accepting change. Finding a spiritual connection through our Higher Power can help us let go of harmful behaviors and attitudes.
When praying for serenity, we ask our Higher Power to accept the things we cannot change: aging, loss, and other events outside our control. Through our recovery work, we also find the courage to change the things we can and gain the wisdom to know the difference.
We will find it easier to take the next right action while entrusting the outcome to our Higher Power.