Sunday, September 13th
I had no idea what my emotional needs were.
Many of us entered recovery feeling damaged by fruitlessly chasing romance, even as we sometimes engaged in compulsive sex or pursued fantasies and obsessions. Our searches often didn’t satisfy our longings, which added to underlying feelings of resentment and shame.
Some of us sensed that our unfulfilled pursuit of relationships created a growing void in our lives, and this feeling might have caused us to self-isolate.
“When sex with a real person didn’t happen like I’d seen or imagined, I just checked out into fantasy.”
Some of us have intimacy issues that make us reluctant to seek or maintain relationships, however desirable they may seem. Fears of being vulnerable, not meeting another’s standards, revealing our secrets, or the overwhelming sense of not being good enough can hold us back from trying to make a meaningful connection.
In recovery, we try to identify our fears and resentments. Working the Steps and using the Tools may help us become more open to making changes. We can acquire or regain social skills by engaging with other members in fellowship. Trusting our Higher Power, we learn to accept and love ourselves, which gives us room to be loved and to love others.
My sexuality and my spirituality are intertwined.