Saturday, September 12th
I get impatient at meetings when someone makes a mistake while reading a Step. Why can’t I let that go?
In our compulsive state, perfectionism may have seemed to be a character asset rather than a character defect. We may have made high demands on ourselves and others, which often led to shame and resentment.
In early recovery, we sometimes ask too much from ourselves, too quickly. We might attempt to digest the Steps in one gigantic gulp or create a “prize-winning” Sexual Recovery Plan.
In both cases, we are trying to control outcomes to counter our fears and anxieties. We might attempt to cover up negative feelings about our character defects by hiding behind a mask of perfectionism.
Through our Step work, we try to identify our character defects and ask our Higher Power to remove them. We may discover that humility helps us let go of our need for perfectionism. Rather than believing we can control the outcome, we become prepared to accept the “how, what, why, and where” as things happen.
When our character defects are removed, we feel “right-sized” — neither better nor worse than our fellow program members. We learn to feel compassion for ourselves and others.
We become whole, passionate, recovering people, able to accept our mistakes and move beyond them.