Sunday, November 1st
I was afraid of becoming bored and lonely if I stopped acting out.
Many of us believed that compulsive sex would give us excitement, validation, and connection to make us happy. We sometimes found joy in our acting out — or perhaps told ourselves that we were joyful. We felt free to harm ourselves or others to maintain that high.
Occasionally, we would open our eyes and see the wreckage that was our life. However, we might have become fatalistic about our compulsion: we told ourselves we were too far gone to change.
In recovery, we learn about hope. By working the Steps and using the Tools, we gradually let go of the spiritual maladies that had driven us to seek escape through sex. We restore relationships with ourselves, accept and trust our Higher Power, and show compassion for others. Our vision widens from a narrow focus on sexual compulsion to one in which we are aware of our surroundings and our fellows. This spiritual growth enables us to live in the present.
Being present can bring serenity, which promotes happiness. We may become joyous at the changes in our lives. We find the freedom to love ourselves and others.
Living in the moment frees us to become happy and joyous.