Wednesday, October 7th
My recovery had become an expression of my ego and the need to control.
As sexual compulsives, many of us believed that perfectionism was a character asset rather than a character defect. After joining SCA, some of us revert to perfectionism — expecting ourselves to work a perfect program. That might mean creating a Sexual Recovery Plan that will impress our sponsor, volunteering to keep time at every meeting, or always being the first to share.
Some of us carry our ambitions further: becoming an Intergroup representative, doing ISO service, and joining and/or chairing committees. We can easily inflate our ego by multi-tasking and allowing our service to be generally known among the fellowship. We do not necessarily strive to be “indispensable,” but we enable others to accept that premise as a fact.
Compulsively overcommitting to service can have negative consequences. We might resent others’ demands while forgetting that we have placed ourselves in a position where people routinely call upon us to do what is needed. Some of us develop grudges against individuals, meetings, or committees — or perhaps against SCA entirely.
Reviewing the Steps and Traditions may help us regain some perspective. None of us has to feel responsible for everything.
SCA is a “we,” not a “me” program. Take it easy.