Tuesday, September 22nd
I keep telling myself I will work on my sobriety tomorrow. Then tomorrow arrives, and I think, maybe later, sometime.
In our active sexual compulsion, many of us were easily distracted from just about everything except the possibility of having more sex. Work or school projects, relationships, family, and friends could all be swept aside by our need to act out.
We may struggle in early recovery. Going to meetings and working our program can present new challenges that may seem dull, confusing, or frightening. Some of us may drift toward familiar tactics such as avoiding commitments, self-isolating, or postponing self-care. In doing so, we delay becoming honest with ourselves.
Without honesty, we remain in denial. Denial tells us that our lives are manageable and that our sexuality is under control. We want to find relief from our compulsive behaviors, but we feel uneasy about the time and energy we might have to spend working to achieve sobriety. Instead, we drift through periods of compulsion and withdrawal, holding onto our fears, shame, and resentments.
Healing can begin when we acknowledge our powerlessness and unmanageability. We share our stories in meetings, on the phone, and with others in the program. Compulsion thrives in secrecy, so we take action to break that cycle.
Recovery works if we work it.