Saturday, September 19th
I often masturbated when I was overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings: dread of the outside world and my family or fear of not being enough.
Many of us used compulsive masturbation as a substitute for sex with another person or to build excitement in anticipation of other sexual behaviors. Some of us engaged in masturbation for its own sake and found it difficult to set or maintain limits. In either case, it often provided a way to numb our feelings and escape from reality into fantasy.
As sexual compulsives in recovery, we have differing experiences, views, and priorities about masturbation.
We may join SCA because our lives have become unmanageable, and we feel powerless to control compulsive masturbation. In these instances, harm reduction involves identifying masturbation as a bottom-line activity from which we seek relief.
Others might choose to use masturbation, with or without porn, as a tool of harm reduction or partial abstinence. For some, it can be a stress reliever and a healthy alternative to bottom-line behaviors involving unsafe or dangerous sex. It may also become a self-loving expression and an exploration of one’s safe and sober sexual identity.
Whichever path we choose, we can use honesty, openness, and willingness to guide us toward the sobriety we want regarding masturbation.