Saturday, October 3rd
Whenever I achieved some sobriety, I would slip. I wanted to quit.
In our compulsion, many of us sought instant gratification. We might have lost patience and gotten frustrated at the slightest disappointment. We may have become perfectionists about our desires and, if denied, felt angry and resentful.
Upon joining SCA, we may initially find some relief as we adjust to the program. But we might retain perfectionist traits in recovery by setting an impossibly “high bar” of standards to compare and judge ourselves and others harshly.
At some point in recovery, things may seem to be getting worse, not better. We may become impatient and develop distrust and resentments against our Higher Power, other members, and ourselves. We might decide to just give in to our compulsion and return to our old ways since we are not progressing at the rate we hoped.
However, we may gradually realize that the root of our frustration is not striving for success but sabotaging ourselves through perfectionism. Our goal is spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection. We may find that humility helps us “right-size” the issues that have blocked our recovery. We will never have all the answers; nobody does.
We can accept that our recovery journey follows our Higher Power’s schedule, not our own.
We respond with a willingness to say “yes” to the program.