Tuesday, August 11th
My obsession was sometimes painful, but being rejected made me feel like every cell in my body was burning.
Many of us engaged in compulsive sexual behaviors to help escape from our anxieties and fears. For some, romantic obsession and fantasy offered an idealized sense of validation that could distract us from our day-to-day reality.
We may have hunted for that special person whose attention we thought would somehow make us feel happy and fulfilled. Our search became increasingly desperate as we experienced rejections or found flaws in others. We might have lost track of ourselves and reality, drifting into self-isolation and molding our personalities to fit our obsession.
In recovery, we hear others share their experiences at meetings, and we begin to share our stories. Admitting our powerlessness and unmanageability begins to open cracks in our self-constructed wall of isolation and obsession. By working the Steps, we find a way to connect to hope — a hope that our lives can be different.
As recovery progresses, we may experience longer periods of sobriety and a change in our outlook. We learn to recognize, trust, and express genuine feelings instead of repressing them through fantasy and obsession. By letting go of our need for control, we gain acceptance and compassion for ourselves and others.
Obsession fades as compassion and reality expand.