Friday, August 21st
August 21st – Healthy vs. Compulsive Sexuality
Healthy sexuality nourishes intimacy and safety. Compulsive sexuality can be self-destructive and dangerous.
Many of us turned to compulsive sex to find the validation and connection we believed we otherwise could not achieve. For some, the more time and energy we spent pursuing that elusive “perfect” sexual experience, the more unattainable it seemed. In pursuit of that ideal, some of us have increased the intensity of our sexual activities, including unsafe sex, danger, humiliation, or physical harm.
Yet the emptiness of our lives was still there and, in fact, had deepened with shame. We had trapped ourselves into a spirit-breaking ritual.
For many, practicing healthy sexuality might seem beyond our reach. We had often used sex to fill an unfillable void. Breaking that cycle may seem difficult and scary.
At meetings, we may hear the slogan: Sex is not an emergency. In building our Sexual Recovery Plan, that slogan begins to make sense. By working the Steps and using the Tools, we experience change and growth. The void in our lives begins to shrink as we pursue healthy, affirming actions.
Just as every member defines their acting out behaviors, we also learn to define our ideal sexuality, which may evolve as we grow and change in our recovery.
Compulsive sexuality disconnects us from ourselves. Healthy sexuality furthers our sense of self.