Thursday, August 20th
August 20th – Gossip and Criticism
The meetings are safe spaces where I feel loved and accepted.
Most of us have heard the following words in the Closing Statement frequently read at meetings: “Let there be no gossip or criticism of one another, but only love, understanding, and companionship.”
Yet we might find ourselves judging someone — perhaps a newcomer. Most of us have been there before and recall how we often judged ourselves harshly while sexually acting out our compulsions.
People secretly judge both themselves and others, and it is difficult to break that habit. But sharing those judgments with other members can create a sense of cliquishness and exclusion. Such a hostile atmosphere can endanger our sexual sobriety.
“As I told my story, I could see people stare at me. I could feel their disbelief, these supposed peers, and their desire to separate themselves from me.”
Instead of finding fault with others, we can recognize how their character defects might closely resemble our own. We can decide that our recovery is the most important thing, not whether we like every member of the program or whether a particular meeting suits our preferences. Gossip and criticism of others can be very damaging to both individual and collective recovery and are actively discouraged.
We may find healing from witnessing the recovery of others.