Tuesday, August 18th
August 18th – Abstinence and Anorexia
In early recovery, I stopped having harmful sex. But I feel shut down.
We join SCA hoping to find relief from sexual compulsion. We might have initially believed that controlling our actions or stopping them altogether would “cure” our problems. Such attempts often failed and could drive us into a deeper spiral of sexually compulsive behavior.
In early recovery, we hear about the tool of abstinence. We might add partial or total abstinence to our Sexual Recovery Plan for a time. This might provide some initial relief while we sort out our issues. However, this temporary solution can sometimes develop into a longer-term lifestyle that increasingly dissatisfies us.
Some of us may be entirely sex-avoidant, even before entering recovery. It is not uncommon for sexual anorexics to feel deep shame about not having sex when compared to more sexually active people in and out of fellowship. It is not that we recoil from sex itself. We may want to be fully sexual with someone, but creating an emotional connection seems impossible.
As we use the Tools and work the Steps, we learn to overcome fears and express honest emotions. Our recovery work can help us become open to change and to develop intimacy with others.
We can stop obsessing about sex and romance or avoiding them compulsively.