Monday, August 17th
No matter how hard I worked or how much sex I had, it was not enough. I felt like a failure.
Some of us found that our compulsive behavior affected daily living. The validation we sought through sex may have also become the desire for recognition, approval, and praise in non-sexual areas.
Emotional scars from our upbringing may have compounded feelings of unworthiness. For some, compulsive sex could provide a short relief from our low self-esteem by allowing us to feel powerful.
Searching for that relief could easily consume our lives. We might have looked for ways to outwit and outperform others. Our need to be “as good as” became the need to be “better than.” But no matter how often we excelled, we secretly feared it was not good enough — that we had failed again.
In recovery, we take an honest look at ourselves. Shame and low self-esteem are burdens that can hide some of the defects we most need to address.
As we learn to let go of these burdens, we hope to discover that the same intensity and passion with which we once pursued our compulsion will encourage us in sobriety to create richer, more rewarding lives.
I love myself; I am worthy exactly as I am.