Sunday, July 5th
I have low self-esteem and barely any boundaries. I crave connection, but I fear intimacy.
For many sexual compulsives, low self-esteem and a deep-rooted sense of unworthiness were very familiar. We often searched for ways to fill the void caused by the absence of acceptance and lack of self-worth.
Some of us discovered that sex gave us relief from our negative feelings by allowing us to feel powerful. But the “high” we got from a sexual encounter often faded, while the sense of emptiness and low self-worth soon returned, spurring us to search for that next “hit” of validation and connection.
“I graded my performance in every sexual adventure. I harshly judged myself, often unfairly. I felt that having sex was my only value as a person.”
In recovery, we try to break the familiar cycle of shame and low self-esteem as we seek to heal from our sexual compulsion. We may notice changes in our outlook as we listen to others share their experience, strength, and hope in meetings. Working the Steps and learning to trust our Higher Power can help reshape our lives.
We learn how to grow despite our doubts and fears. We become able to accept and love ourselves.
Because I work a program of recovery, I see my value as a person, apart from my sexuality.