Sunday, July 19th
There was little sense of nurturing, trust, or comfort in my home.
Some of us came from dysfunctional or abusive families. Our parents or siblings may have ignored boundaries and perhaps abused us emotionally, physically, or sexually.
Ignoring or overstepping boundaries can be conscious or unconscious. Perhaps the most extreme form of violated limits might be sexual contact between adults and children, while other forms of ignored boundaries are more covert. For example, when a parent turns to a child for solace or as a secret confidante or partner, they are indulging in emotional incest. All forms of ignored or overstepped boundaries threaten our ability to maintain healthy relationships.
“I would recall the resentments, mostly about my parents and how I felt cheated.”
For many of us, even in our earliest years, our family of origin taught us the importance of secrecy and silence, hiding what we feared we might be and pretending to be something we were not. Our very sense of self was erased, leaving us alone and lonely. We often carried these feelings into our adult lives, woven into our sexual compulsion.
But as we work our recovery, we find that what we so desperately seek is not shame, secrecy, and degradation but an experience of wholeness, fulfillment, and joy.
Gradually, we stop reliving the past. We accept that we can change our lives, and we embrace each day.