Sunday, July 12th
We were drawn to people who were unavailable to us.
In our compulsion, some of us were especially drawn to others who seemed to have a hidden glow: a charisma that somehow spoke directly to us. The more we focused on them, the more attractive they appeared.
We imagined that if only we could spend time with this person and ultimately have sex with them, their magical qualities would “cure” us of our feelings of shame and low self-esteem. Surely, our lives would be transformed if we could claim them for ourselves.
“I loved being seen with them in public. But if they looked or smiled at anyone else, I would feel crushed.”
Being repeatedly brought back to reality was painful when we lived in our fantasies.
When we hear the Characteristics and members’ stories, we often identify with many behavior patterns and relate to their effect on our lives. It is reassuring to know that we are not alone and that others have been through similar experiences.
By using the Steps and other tools, we can begin to let go of fantasy and magical thinking. We learn how to live in the present and expand our world, driving out the shame and low self-esteem that had drawn us into objectifying others.
Magic merely entices me; reality connects me.