Friday, July 10th
Denial tells us that our lives are manageable and that our sexuality is under control.
As sexual compulsives, many of us routinely embrace self-will to satisfy our needs. This can cause us to ignore parts of our lives that do not involve sex or contribute to our acting out rituals.
Many of us enter Twelve Step recovery with plenty of skepticism. Our lives may have become so complicated by secrecy and lies — to ourselves and others — that we shrink from practicing honesty, openness, and willingness. We cannot bring ourselves to admit that we are powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable. Our need for control rejects such an admission as a sign of weakness.
Changing our behaviors is difficult if we remain in denial, although change can often take place without us initially noticing it. At some point, we can admit we are powerless over our sexual compulsion and that our lives have become unmanageable. That is Step One.
From there, we listen to others share, begin to use the Tools and come to realize that we do not have to do this alone. As we let go of our need to control our compulsion and our recovery, our resources and vision expand. We become willing to accept help, willing to help ourselves, and willing to help others.
To have hope, we need more than self-will.