Wednesday, July 1st
I felt abused and humiliated in my failed relationship but did not know how to escape it.
Many sexual compulsives have struggled with co-dependency issues, especially in a relationship. Plagued by feelings of shame and low self-esteem, some of us have unconsciously enabled a partner or family member with addictions or mental health issues to act irresponsibly.
We may have embraced the fantasy of being in a relationship without facing its reality. We may have discovered troublesome problems early in our relations with the other person but chose to ignore or make light of them, hoping things would get better.
We might have made concessions to requests we found disturbing, but we were willing to overlook them to maintain the appearance of closeness. We began to feel consumed by co-dependency: we felt trapped but were afraid to let go of what little we had.
As we work the Steps and use other tools, we learn that self-care is central to our recovery. By looking after our own needs, we find some perspective about the needs of others. Relationships may be meaningful, but they do not need to define us. Through self-love, we begin to take care of ourselves rather than prioritize others.
Spiritual growth can free us from compulsion and co-dependency.