Monday, June 29th
I did a fourth Step early on. Later, I realized I had avoided mentioning some past wreckage that still bothered me.
The moral inventory referred to in Step Four is about facing the truth — helping to halt the cycle of shame that fuels our obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior. There are damaged relationships, self-sabotaged careers, significant debts, and a bundle of resentments, hurts, and regrets of every variety. Any of these can block us from making progress in our recovery. If we are to become happy, joyous, and free, we deal with this baggage.
Every day that we put off doing Step Four is another day with resentments, fears, and a sense of unease.
Once we begin looking at those resentments, fears, sexual conduct issues, and other harms, we may see patterns that underlie the specifics. These patterns can provide clues not only to our character defects but also to our character assets. A clear acknowledgment of our assets helps us maintain emotional balance.
The more thorough and honest we are during this process, the more we can understand and discard our past wreckage. We try not to worry if we missed something. Our inventory will expand as our recovery continues.
Working on my fourth Step has led to a breakthrough. I feel a lot lighter.