Thursday, July 9th
I recalled all the bad stuff I suffered — most of it self-inflicted. I had to stop beating myself up.
As recovering sexual compulsives, many of us come to realize that much of our damage is self-inflicted and that our negative feelings are often self-directed. We might have engaged in selfish, unsafe, or even dangerous behaviors, harming ourselves and others.
Part of making amends is the principle of forgiveness. Expecting or demanding perfection from ourselves and others has often led to resentments that have burdened us. Most of us find the notion of asking for forgiveness to be frightening. We might also feel uncomfortable at the thought of forgiving others.
We can start by forgiving ourselves. Forgiving ourselves and others can free us from carrying the resentments, fears, anger, and harms we suffered and retained throughout our compulsion.
We cannot change the past. While we may have real, justified resentments and even lasting damage from what we have suffered, our willingness to forgive can help free us from some of the burdens of the past. We can keep in mind that one definition of forgiveness is to give up hope of ever having a better childhood. It is a gentle way to accept the present.
To be forgiven, we forgive.