Wednesday, July 8th
I realized that my life was unmanageable and that I needed to work my recovery more thoroughly.
A slip can be an annoying, sometimes painful consequence of an SCA member’s compulsive desire to seek instant gratification.
Many of us have acted out our sexual compulsion to avoid feelings such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and shame. But when we attend SCA meetings and listen to others share their stories, we can often acknowledge the feelings behind their issues, as well as ours. As we hear others talk about their hopes and journeys of recovery, we might gain the courage to start working our own program.
However, recovery is not linear. We may feel stuck or have doubts about finding relief from our compulsion. Meanwhile, our compulsion is doing push-ups outside the room, ready to welcome us back.
Rationalization may start to set in. We may feel entitled to a “reward” for working our program or perhaps “punish” our recovery for making us so miserable. At this point, a slip may become too tempting to avoid.
If we continue to attend meetings and work our recovery one day at a time, we may begin to experience sobriety. Moving through withdrawal, we discover periods of serenity and realize that recovery from sexual compulsion is happening.
If I slip, I keep coming back. It is progress, not perfection, one day at a time.