Nov. 14th Meditation: On Co-dependency

Friday, November 14th

“Safe at home” did not apply to my relationship; I felt hopelessly trapped. 

As time passes, relationships can change character. What may have started as love, affection, and sexual intimacy might unravel. Sometimes, this deterioration happens quickly. We may discover that we never were or are no longer compatible with the person, or we may become attracted to another.

For some, a reluctance to admit defeat may cause us to compromise our values to satisfy the other person’s demands. Our efforts to appease them can consume us, leading to shame, resentment, and a loss of intimacy.

We might try to sustain a relationship by “fixing” the other person’s problems. But by doing so, we often ignore our needs, which can create resentment, anger, and a sense of low self-esteem. We may try to escape these feelings by acting out our sexual compulsion, putting additional strains on the relationship. We feel trapped in co-dependency but afraid to leave it.

In recovery, we may learn acceptance by letting go of our self-will and the need to control. With our Higher Power’s help and the support of others, we can make choices and find the courage to take needed actions. We no longer try to sustain the unsustainable.

By letting go, we find relief — a feeling of lightness.

Nov. 13th Meditation: Working with a Sponsor

Thursday, November 13th

I hesitated to find a sponsor. What if they judged me as hopeless?

Sponsorship is two people with the same problem helping each other work the program. For many, asking someone to sponsor us is to admit we are powerless over sexual compulsion and are willing to ask for help.

Some of us may have mixed feelings about sponsorship. Seeking help from an experienced member seems like a good idea, but are we ready to share everything about ourselves with someone we barely know?

We may feel vulnerable. Our history with relationships may cause us to hesitate. Many of us feel embarrassed about our romantic and sexual behaviors, which have often been selfish, sordid, secretive, and a source of shame.

However, working with a sponsor creates an opportunity to change old patterns. By practicing honesty, openness, and willingness, we can clear our minds of distrust and lies. We experience intimacy as we learn to honestly share our stories, issues, fears, and desires with another person. We can learn to apply the wisdom of the slogan: We are only as sick as our secrets.

Sponsorship is not about judgment. Our sponsor can help us see ourselves more realistically and accept our shortcomings and challenges as we work to bring healthy changes to our lives.

My sponsor stands by me as I work my recovery. 

SCA Audio book

SCA: A Program of Recovery, 3rd edition (2021) is now available in audio book format (AI voices) @ $9.99 through Amazon alongside the e-book and paperback versions. In creating this audio version, we included a variety of voices, especially for the sub-chapters containing individual recovery stories.

SCA Daily Meditations e-book now available

Our Journey of Recovery: SCA Daily Meditations is now available in e-book format through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, and Google Books for $7.99. We will continue to post today’s (and tomorrow’s) meditation for free on our website each day. However, e-book users can click the “List of Titles” (an index) on each page to choose any topic or issue mentioned in any part of the book and instantly click the relevant texts. A slogan index is also linked to those texts. SCA plans to produce a print version of this book later this summer. Here are the links to the three e-book platforms.

Apple

https://books.apple.com/us/book/our-journey-of-recovery/id6503449662

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0D5N3ZFNY/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title

Google

https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=Tw4LEQAAQBAJ&pg=GBS.PT1

SCA Daily Meditations e-book now available

Our Journey of Recovery: SCA Daily Meditations is now available in e-book format through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, and Google Books for $7.99. We will continue to post today’s (and tomorrow’s) meditation for free on our website each day. However, e-book users can click the “List of Titles” (an index) on each page to choose any topic or issue mentioned in any part of the book and instantly click the relevant texts. A slogan index is also linked to those texts. SCA plans to produce a print version of this book later this summer. Here are the links to the three e-book platforms.

Apple

https://books.apple.com/us/book/our-journey-of-recovery/id6503449662

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0D5N3ZFNY/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title

Google

https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=Tw4LEQAAQBAJ&pg=GBS.PT1

Introducing the SCA Step Workbook

The SCA Step Workbook, approved by the ISO Conference in April 2023, is now available for free download from our international website: www.sca-recovery.org under the “Literature and Resources” tab. 
 
It is in “fillable PDF” format. You can download the document and then update, share, and store it in your own private files. Please note that the worksheets appear after the three blank “Additional notes” pages following Step Twelve.

ISO 2023 Conference Summary

Summary of SCA’s ISO 2023 Conference

The International Service Organization of Sexual Compulsives Anonymous held its annual conference this past weekend: April 21st through 23rd, 2023.

Below are some of the conference’s highlights, which took place on Zoom.

Delegates representing 73 meetings attended the conference or voted by proxy. We also heard group reports from most domestic groups and scattered international meetings, particularly SCA in Japan.

Recovery book sales (print & e-book)

Since the ISO released the new Recovery Book (print version) on November 17, 2021, sales have been steady. Through March 31, 2023, the ISO has sold 450 copies of the print edition and 213 e-Book versions through Amazon Kindle, Apple, and Google.

Decisions made and Actions taken

An ISO By-Laws Amendment was unanimously approved: That the Executive Committee members, excluding the Outside (non-member) Director, being officers of the corporation who represent SCA in dealings with active sexual compulsives and the public, are required to have at least two (2) years of SCA membership and one (1) year of sobriety on their Sexual Recovery Plan.

Fiduciary motions:

ISO approved a revised budget for 2023 and (2) set aside capital funds to print versions of the Porn, Apps & Internet Addiction chapter of our Recovery Book and the Step Workbook (see Inreach motion below).

Outreach motions:

ISO approved a motion to sell the SCA Recovery Book to bookstores at the same 40 % discount available to SCA meetings. Outreach is expected to contact such bookstores, informing them about the book and asking them to consider offering it for public sale.

(a) ISO will provide the Recovery Book and other SCA literature and information to jails, prisons, recovery centers, and judicial organizations addressing sexual addiction. These institutions will also be offered the opportunity to purchase our literature at the 40 % meeting discount rate.

(b) Budgeted $1,000 to provide single copies of the Recovery book and other SCA literature to jails, prisons, and recovery centers.

Inreach motion:

Fully approved the proposed SCA Step Workbook for conference-wide use. The piece had initially been submitted to ISO in 2022 for consideration. It was subsequently reviewed and edited by an ISO Literature Development project team, which incorporated various suggestions from the fellowship at large. The approved Step Workbook will be placed on our international website as a fillable PDF and will also be printed for sale.

Literature Development:

A Literature Development project team is reviewing the draft SCA Meditations book. The final draft will be submitted to the ISO later this year for consideration at the 2024 ISO Conference. Meanwhile, the current versions are posted daily on the website: www.sca-recovery.org and https://scanneronline.org.

New ISO officers

In keeping with our rotation of service policy, half of the ISO Executive Committee positions were up for election.

  • ISO Chair: Joy D. (NY) was re-elected ISO Chair and President of the (Non-profit 501c3) corporation for a final 2-year term.
  • Outreach Chair: Frank C. (NY) was elected Outreach Chair for a 2-year term, succeeding Sherry G. (St. Louis).
  • Outside Director: Dr. Alexandra Katehakis finished her second 2-year term this past weekend and is ineligible to serve a 3rd consecutive term. The ISO is looking for a new Outside (non-member) Director.

Other officers remaining in place this year are:

  • The Inreach Chair: Tony D. (NY) – term expires in 2024.
  • Fiduciary Chair: Matthew C. (NY) – term expires in 2024.
  • Director-at-Large: Gordon B. (NY)- term expires in 2024.

 

Future ISO conferences:

The date of the 2024 conference has yet to be determined, but it is likely to take place in mid-late April on Zoom.The  ISO plans to hold an in-person 2025 conference in one of our host cities (TBD).  Between annual conferences, there will be three quarterly conference calls: Saturday, July 15th, Saturday, October 14th, and Saturday, January 20th, 2024.

If you wish to learn more about the ISO and how it serves the SCA fellowship, please get in touch with any of the above officers or email atlarge@sca-recovery.org.

Yours in service,

Gordon B.

ISO Director-at-Large

New meetings: Milwaukee (in-person) & Europe (Zoom)

SCA Milwaukee has added an in-person meeting: Saturday at 8:30 am (Central USA time) at the MKE LGBT Center. 315 W. Court Street, Milwaukee WI 53212. Parking is abundantly available nearby.

A one-hour European (English-language) Zoom meeting takes place Thursdays at 8 pm (Central European time) in the following Zoom room: 787 716 2543.  The password is: 820626

We need volunteers for ISO service

SCA’s International Service Organization exists to serve the worldwide SCA fellowship, fulfilling our Fifth Tradition, which states: “…to carry its message to the sexual compulsive who still suffers.” Carrying our message includes answering calls, emails, and letters, helping to support new meetings, writing, editing, and publishing recovery literature, and spreading SCA’s name to hospitals, rehab centers, doctors, therapists, and caregivers everywhere.

The ISO consists of members who volunteer their time and talents to help in these various areas. Right now, we need a member who can coordinate and supervise fiduciary matters, mainly involving project management and administration. This “behind-the-scenes” position helps to keep the organization functioning to fulfill its mission.

 Becoming the ISO Fiduciary Chair is not a “loner” job: you would work closely with other members who currently devote themselves to outreach, treasury, website service, inreach, and literature distribution.  If you are interested in volunteering, please be assured that the ISO and the worldwide membership will gratefully encourage and support your service.

We are also looking for members to help review and edit the SCA NY-approved Step workbook, so that it may be considered for possible approval at next April’s ISO conference.

If you wish to learn more about these or other ISO service positions, please contact either

fiduciary@sca-recovery.org

or

inreach@sca-recovery.org

The new Four-Folds are now available !

SCA has newly printed Four-Folds containing the recently approved inclusive language in our Statement of Purpose. We have also altered some of the text in the Tools and the Twenty Questions, bringing the Four-Fold contents into synch with the newly published (3rd Edition) SCA Recovery Book.

SCA’s International Service Organization (ISO) voted to distribute 1,000 copies of the new Four-Fold to meetings and intergroups, free of charge. If your group would like some free Four-Folds, please email sca.iso.inreach@gmail.com or fiduciary@sca-recovery.org. Also, please note that all the Four-Fold texts, the SCA publication “Q&A,” and a welcome message can be freely downloaded as one document from our international website: https://sca-recovery.org/WP/welcome-newcomers/.