Question: How can “Dating” be one of the tools of the SCA Program, when most of my slips are from Dating Apps and Websites?
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Since coming to SCA NY in April of 2006 I have seen the numbers of attendees at meetings go down even before Covid-19. I’ve also observed that there are a core group of members who are very loyal to the program attending meetings regularly and doing service in the program. I’ve also been happy to see a constant arrival of newcomers who “keep it green” and are proof that the outreach program is working.
Rather than focusing on the popularity of the program as a measure of its success, I am content to be grateful that this wonderful twelve step based program of recovery for compulsive sexual behavior is here for me when I need it, which I find is often. — Gregory S.
The Tools of Dating and Socializing are unique to SCA and can be used to help build, support and aide in our recovery. However, like some of the other tools, they can be stressful to start to use. I know that even going to meetings at first was a reason for me to “act out”. When I got to the point where I felt I was ready for a “healthy” relationship I found I needed to define what “dating” was to me. So I created a “Dating Plan”. There were so many ways meeting new people could screw with my head that I found that I needed to be honest with myself on what I was doing. I needed to know if the date was going to be casual or serious before bringing sex into it. In trying this out I found I had to actually discuss this with the dates. What a concept! Strange I know, but it really helped me deal with all the feelings that can come up with dating and to maintain my sobriety according to my SRP (Sexual Recovery Plan). — Gary S.