An SCA Story – by Scott W.


My addiction started like so many others – in a dysfunctional family. My
mom had a drinking problem that started when I was in the fourth grade. As
her addiction grew, mine took root.

I discovered masturbation quite my mistake while taking a bath. I soon
learned how to use it to make myself feel better. I was not that aware of
that at the time, though. I had my first sexual experience at a birthday
party for my sister. All of the older kids thought it would be funny if
they got me drunk. After two beers I was totally wasted. I remember trying
to put pajamas on a yucca plant and feed it beer. (My first love!)

One of my sister’s friends took me up to put me to bed and that night I was
molested for the first time. Mark started to set up situations where we
would be alone. The sex was always one sided. Mark would use me just long
enough to get off and then he was gone. We continued to have sex for the
next seven years. One night, Mark had taken me from a party to the
playground of a church where I got to kiss him for the first time. When I
kissed him, he told me to never do it again… because that was not what I
was good for.

I took the opportunity to have sex with a neighbor one night. He had been
out drinking with my brother and I molested him after he fell asleep. I had
discovered a new way of taking control. I get them drunk and then I take
advantage of them. I did this time after time. I got caught in the act one
night by the brother of one of the guys I was molesting. The next day, I
got beat up in front of all of our friends. That was the first time I knew

I went into high school a total love addict. I was in love with over fifty
guys. I wanted them to notice me, but it never happened. When it became
obvious that I was not getting anywhere with the guys, I decided to get
close to them another way. I would get into the locker room at night and
take the gym clothes of the guys I liked. I had a way into the locker room
any time I wanted in. I found myself locked in there night after night,
totally wrapped in a fantasy world. I ended up with over one hundred pair
of underwear under my bed – not to mention the sports uniforms hidden all
over my room. At home, I started to do the same thing. If I liked someone,
I would case their house for a few days and when the opportunity came up, I
would break in and take their underwear for my collection. I have broken
into nine or ten homes.

I was now living a life of secrets, crimes and lies. One day, I overheard
someone talking about the parks and malls as places to pick up sex partners.
I wasted no time in starting my search. Once I found the acting out places,
I threw myself into anonymous sex with everything I had. I was soon acting
out with eight to twelve men every time I was there. I met my lover in the
park acting out one day. He and I moved in together three months later. I
thought this was the answer to all my problems. I wanted to stop acting out
so bad and I came very close to getting some sobriety. But, only weeks
after Randy and I got together, I was looking for ways to act out. I had
stopped having sex with Mark only a few weeks before Randy and I met. I had
had sex with several hundred men in the previous four years. I was not
aware of how difficult it was going to be to stop.

My answer came when we had the opportunity to move. This would be my way to
start fresh. About a week after we moved to the desert, Randy told me about
all the acting out places. He had grown up there and he had no idea what he
was telling me. I’m sure I would have found them soon enough on my own,
however. In the seven years that Randy and I owned our business in the
desert, I had slipped to the lowest depths. I was arrested for climbing on
the roof of a gay hotel and trying to look into the skylights. After I was
released that night, I went back and acted out there. I acted out a
different fantasy in each room. In less than two months, I had totally
trashed the hotel. I was sure that I was HIV+. After all, I had to go with
the odds. I had acted out with over 1000 men in the desert and I was often
less than careful. There is a great danger in presuming. As it turns out,
I was using that HIV status as an excuse to act out even more – and I’m
negative! Sometimes, I would have to get drunk before I would act out and
this would often lead to my being raped and abused by strangers.

Without Randy knowing anything about my behaviors, I was beginning to feel
depressed, guilty and worthless. I was making deals with myself only to see
them go down in failure. I knew I needed to move again if I was going to
stop. We moved to the beach and settled into a new life. In such a small
town I knew I would be free from this addiction. That was true until Randy
and I went to the beach. Randy came back from a walk and told me I should
see what was going on in the bushes. That day, I resisted the temptation to
go check it out. But, by my next day off, it was business as usual. By the
end of that summer, I was worse than I had been in the desert. On our tenth
anniversary together, I told Randy all my secrets. I was prepared to move
out and live on my own. Randy just listened and we talked for most of that
day and all the way through our anniversary dinner. During that dinner, he
told me he would stay with me and try to work it out.

I went to my first SCA meeting on a Saturday night in Los Angeles. The
drive was 180 miles, round trip. I didn’t mind, though. I had found a
group that would understand and support me. I became literature person at
that meeting a few months later, and I loved taking home the literature to
read. Just before Christmas, I had a slip and I got caught in a public
restroom acting out. I was alone, but I was definitely breaking the law.
When the police officer found me doing what I was doing, I found out what
hitting bottom is really all about. The officer asked me if I was on drugs
or alcohol. I told him, no. He asked if he could look in my car just to
make sure. I told him he could. He slowly opened the literature box, not
knowing what to expect. He asked me to explain the literature. After I told
him about my meetings in Los Angeles, he said they were obviously needed in
my life. He let me clean up the mess I had made, and, in leaving, he
suggested that I start a meeting in the area because there were others he
had seen who needed the same help.

Now a year has passed and I have celebrated more sobriety that I could ever
have imagined. I do still have slips and difficult moments, but they are
far less a part of my life now. Randy is still with me and I am truly
grateful for all he has done to help me through this. With the help and
understanding of my mom and dad and all my brothers and sisters, as well as
the countless numbers of people at the meetings, I will know a new

Thank you,


SCA New York will hold its Spring Conference on Saturday, June 1, 2019, from 9 am to 4 pm at the LGBT Center.


The morning session (9 am-12 noon) will focus on Sponsorship in SCA, and will include a panel discussion, along with breakout groups for writing and open sharing.


The afternoon session (1 pm-4 pm) will be on the SCA Tools of Recovery, and will include a 3-speaker meeting, readings from member stories of experience with specific tools, followed by breakout groups and open sharing.


Copies of the new “Sponsorship in SCA” literature will be given to all attendees, and there will be copies of all printed SCA literature available for purchase. The suggested donation is $10, and this can be paid through PayPal on our website along with your registration.


When: Saturday, June 1, 2019 from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm

Where: The Center
             208 West 13th Street
             New York, NY 10011


Needs Your Commentary on any of The Characteristics

The Recovery Book Subcommittee of SCA’s International Service Organization is inviting interested SCA members to submit their personal commentaries for consideration for use in an upcoming Recovery Book or other SCA publication.  Please target for around 500 words and suggest a title.

(Commentaries should not contain references to personally identify the author and may be edited.  SCA-ISO would own the rights to publish these stories in any of its publications.)

Please submit to by the deadline of December 31, 2019.

You may also submit questions about the process of development and publication of the SCA Recovery Book, or requests for support and suggestions of how to begin writing your personal story of recovery to

SCA-ISO Conference Chicago May 3-5, 2019

You’re invited to participate in this year’s

SCA International Service Organization’s (ISO) Annual Conference.

This year’s ISO conference will take place from Friday May 3rd through Sunday May 5th in Chicago IL. Any SCA member may attend, and we especially encourage representatives from intergroups and/or meetings to do so. You don’t have to travel to be a part of the ISO Conference. Using the app StartMeeting will allow you to fully participate from your home, allowing you to see documents that are being discussed, as well as engage in any discussion and voting.

The ISO was created by SCA in 1990 to serve all intergroups and meetings worldwide.  ISO approves,  publishes and distributes SCA approved literature. It also maintains the website:, it answers inquiries via phone, letters and email, encourages and helps support the development of new SCA meetings. ISO also reaches out to families and friends, the courts, institutions, the media, and professionals to make them aware of SCA  and its purpose.

Among the Fiduciary, Outreach and Inreach topics to be discussed and voted upon this year will include 3 pieces of new SCA Literature. All of these documents have been sent to ISO delegates currently registered in our SCA  ISO Yahoo group. If your intergroup and/or solo meeting is unrepresented and has not received these documents,  please consult with your members as to electing someone to be a delegate, and notify so that your delegate can be included in the email/document list. Each SCA meeting has one vote, and a delegate from an intergroup may represent one or more meetings for voting purposes.If you have any questions about the conference, or if you would like to become more active in the ISO is, please contact Gordon at:

SCA New York Holiday Show

SCA New York Holiday Show: The Book of More Men

Friday, January 4, 2019 and Saturday, January 5, 2019 at 8:00 pm

Join us for our SCA Winter Show and Holiday Fellowship:

The Book of More Men

Friday & Saturday January 4th and 5th at 8 pm (Please arrive at 7:30 pm)

The American Theatre of Actors

314 W 54th Street

New York, NY 10019

Holiday fellowship with light refreshments will follow each performance!

Buy your ticket(s) now !


New SCA literature available

SPONSORSHIP IN SCA – A new ISO approved piece of literature now available for purchase.  Ask if your local intergroup has it or order it on-line at:

SPOSponsorship in SCA $3.50

Experience, strength and hope discussion of Sponsorship as a tool of the program. Topics include setting expectations, finding a sponsor, and guidance on the conduct of the sponsor-sponsee relationship (18 pages).

The Write Way


 To Be Of Service


The Recovery Book Committee is looking for writers to produce commentary on a few of the SCA “characteristics”.

The type of writings can be summed up as similar to what the AA 12&12 has done with the Steps and Traditions.  They are not personal stories, but more from the viewpoint of a non-specific member and general language, including as much experience and “solution” so others may identify with the characteristic.


Please announce or pass this along at your meetings and Intergroup.


If interested respond to either: