March 28th Meditation: Recovery From Sexual Anorexia

Friday, March 28th

But how could I be a sex addict? I regularly go six months without sex!

Sexual anorexia may be challenging to recognize in ourselves at first. We may have replaced sexual activity with fantasy and masturbation. Some of us abstained from sex altogether, believing others could never live up to our fantasy expectations. The lack of any affirming sexual experiences added to this belief. Alternatively, we may have experienced fears of rejection or abandonment, which inhibited sexuality in our intimate relationships.

Avoiding sex might have been a temporary solution to compulsive behaviors, but it may have developed into a compulsive choice that dissatisfied us. Other people seemed to have healthy sex; fears inhibited us, or perhaps we thought we did not deserve it. Still, we did not necessarily accept this way of life as our only path to sexual sobriety.

Working the Steps and using other SCA tools can enable us to break through the fears that have held us back from healthy sexual, social, and emotional intimacy with other people. We learn to develop compassion for ourselves and others.

“I wept with joy and relief as I saw that others knew what I was suffering from, and it helped me find hope and healing.”

I’ve learned to love and accept myself as a person worthy of having sexual intimacy in my life. 

March 27th Meditation: Euphoric Recall

Thursday, March 27th

I kept replaying past sexual scenes and present fantasies in my mind.

We often recalled times in our past when sex and fantasy brought us excitement or relief from negative feelings. Some of us experienced euphoric recall of past sexual exploits. Many of us began looking for ways to experience this excitement again, trying to fill the void we felt within us.

“The more I medicated uncomfortable emotions with sexual thoughts or behaviors, the more I turned to them. I was not even aware I was escaping into fantasy.”

Many of us found that euphoric recall about our old lusts, fantasies, and romantic obsessions took some time, even years in some cases, to go away. Such obsessions and compulsions might have led us directly to a slip. However, we realized that no amount of sex would fill the emptiness we felt or make our lives magically free from everyday irritations.

By working the Twelve Steps and utilizing the program’s tools, we begin to transform our lives: gradually, our attitude and outlook on life change. As our obsessions, compulsions, and fantasies weaken, we learn to identify our obsessive thoughts and choose not to act on them.

Creating a new focus may be as simple as recalling a slogan or reciting the Serenity Prayer.

When confronted with the void within, we decide not to act out, just for today. 

SCA Daily Meditations e-book now available

Our Journey of Recovery: SCA Daily Meditations is now available in e-book format through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, and Google Books for $7.99. We will continue to post today’s (and tomorrow’s) meditation for free on our website each day. However, e-book users can click the “List of Titles” (an index) on each page to choose any topic or issue mentioned in any part of the book and instantly click the relevant texts. A slogan index is also linked to those texts. SCA plans to produce a print version of this book later this summer. Here are the links to the three e-book platforms.

Apple

https://books.apple.com/us/book/our-journey-of-recovery/id6503449662

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0D5N3ZFNY/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title

Google

https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=Tw4LEQAAQBAJ&pg=GBS.PT1