Thursday, November 21st
I often feel lonely and unloved. It feels worse during the holidays.
Many of us fueled our sexual compulsion through self-isolation. By cutting ourselves off from others, we felt free to act out through compulsive sex and fantasy. But choosing to self-isolate added to our feelings of shame and low self-worth. Our desire for concealment often led to loneliness and self-pity.
In recovery, we work to break down that wall of isolation. We hear others share their experience, strength, and hope at meetings. We make friends with other recovering sexual compulsives through doing service, going to fellowship, or attending events. Our self-isolation fades as we make real connections with people.
Yet, there are times when the dynamic changes. Holiday times can feel different. Somewhere, people are enjoying themselves among family and friends. We might be “pressing our noses against the window,” feeling excluded, even if we choose to stay away.
We can self-sabotage our recovery by turning isolation into resentment. Sadness and self-pity during holiday seasons might trigger us, risking our sobriety.
When we recognize this pattern, we can be proactive. We can stick close to the program by attending meetings, doing service, and calling other members to stay in touch.
Holidays, too, will pass, but we always have the gift of this fellowship.