Wednesday, February 12th
We were drawn to people who were not available to us, or who would reject or abuse us.
For many of us, low self-esteem and a deep-rooted sense of unworthiness were familiar aspects of our lives. We sought validation from others but often encountered indifference or rejection.
“My bouts of sexual excess included infatuations with people who were out of my reach, and they fueled even more sexual excess.”
We felt unworthy of other people’s affection, love, and respect. We often convinced ourselves we did not deserve these things and may have secretly believed that others felt the same. Deep down, we thought we did not deserve happiness. Instead of learning from our past, we found ourselves pursuing unavailable people or seeking to escape our feelings through compulsive sex.
With the help of the program and our Higher Power, we can begin to take an honest look at ourselves, and it’s never too late to do so. We gradually realize through our step work that the same intensity and passion we had devoted to compulsive sex is now helping to create richer, more rewarding lives for ourselves in sobriety.
In recovery, I am working to recapture what it means to be fully present and enjoy sex without living in fantasy.