Wednesday, April 2nd
For years, I thought my actions were mine alone — secret and hidden.
We were often in denial about the harmful effects our behaviors had on our lives — we lied to ourselves about the destructive nature of those actions. This need to separate our sexual behaviors from the rest of our lives kept us from being honest with others. Dependence on secrecy increased our stress and contributed to the belief that we were manipulative and deceitful.
Deception and secrecy became a way of life, and maintaining this charade only increased our guilt and shame. No matter how much sex we had, we felt a growing emptiness.
As we recover, some of us realize that we need to have a spiritual awakening to restore some balance to our lives. Working the Steps and establishing a relationship with a Higher Power gives us the tools to choose a different way of living.
We learn to share honestly and experience our feelings fully without the compelling, urgent need to escape from them. We can define and embrace our healthy sexuality. Our lives will improve as we continue to accept recovery as a way of life.
Honesty begins to break through denial and secrecy.