Wednesday, March 19th
No one achieves perfection, and all need support.
While working our recovery, many of us experienced periods of “compare and despair.” Later, we might have measured our progress through “compare and gloat.” Most of us share the common trait of being judgmental of self or others. In our active sexual compulsion, we may have invariably directed negative judgment against ourselves, even while struggling with fears and resentments against others.
We may — perhaps unconsciously — shift our judgmental antenna and start comparing our recovery with other members as we work the SCA program.
We can sometimes have trouble identifying with other people in the rooms. We can get distracted by perceived differences. We may have thoughts like “They’re so much older (or younger) than me” or “Their Sexual Recovery Plans are too strict (or too loose).”
It’s easy to become discouraged by seeing others in SCA having slips and sometimes relapses. It’s even easier to decide that another member is “not sober” and feel a sense of superiority if we hear of their relapse.
SCA’s Statement of Purpose says: “Members are encouraged to develop their own sexual recovery plan and to define sexual sobriety for themselves.” Instead of finding fault with others, we can recognize how their character defects may closely resemble our own.
We are not the arbiters of anyone else’s sexual conduct.