Monday, March 17th
I’m taking a break from the program: I’m too busy right now.
In our active sexual compulsion, many of us were easily distracted from just about anything except the possibility of having sex. Work or school projects, relationships, family, and friends could all be swept aside by our need to act out.
“I stopped making commitments to other people. Whenever someone became interested in more than just sex, I would lose interest and discard them. I felt powerful but also ashamed.”
As we entered recovery, we may have struggled with isolation and self-centeredness. Going to meetings and working on our recovery presented new challenges that seemed dull, confusing, or frightening. Some of us reverted to familiar tactics of avoiding commitments or even cutting someone out of our lives. In fact, we were cutting recovery out of our lives.
At first, we may feel shame about slipping. Beneath that shame is often the desire to “reward” ourselves, to “get even” with the program, or to shrug our shoulders and let the slip become a binge.
Nobody knows when we might hit bottom. At some point, we might hear something in meetings that makes us want to try again. By acknowledging our powerlessness, unmanageability, and insanity, we open ourselves to accept change. By changing, we develop trust and commitment.
It works if you work it.