Thursday, January 30th
After every sexual encounter, I always felt the same dark shame. It was one demoralizing experience after another.
As sexual compulsives, we lived almost continually with shame but were often unaware of it. We acted out repeatedly on this secret, pervasive shame without realizing it was even there.
If we felt shame after our compulsive sexual activities, the only remedy seemed to be more sex. We felt more and more shame until we reached the point where we desperately and urgently needed the relief that sex provided.
Talking about our problem and acknowledging the shame reduces its impact. It interrupts the addictive cycle and keeps us on the road of recovery.
As we gain acceptance and trust in ourselves, we begin to find release from shame. We learn to replace the old demeaning voices in our heads with positive, affirming messages.
“I better understand my behaviors and have begun to accept responsibility for past misdeeds while being relieved of most of the destructive burden of shame.”
The recovery process opens us up to be stronger advocates for ourselves and gives us compassion for others. That sense of being alone in the world, of being unlovable, starts to fade.
Today, my life is filled with promise. Working the program has helped to raise my self-esteem.