Wednesday, January 29th
Compulsive sex became a drug, which we used to escape from feelings such as anxiety, loneliness, anger, and self-hatred, as well as joy.
“Sexual acting out served me by repressing what I would not allow myself to feel. It kept me from any authentic feeling. I lived in the fog of active sexual compulsion.”
Many of us found it easy to lose ourselves in our sexual behaviors. While sex seemed to be the perfect potion for anxious feelings, it couldn’t address underlying conditions such as insecurity, trauma, pain, and fear. When we inevitably came down from the high of compulsive sex, our pain and anxiety were still there.
By working the Twelve Steps and utilizing the program’s tools, we begin to transform ourselves. Our lives become more than the compelling need for sexual encounters, external validation, or distracting obsessions. We start to focus on our personal growth and set goals and boundaries for living in recovery.
“I remember feeling that if I didn’t act out, I would die. But support from my Higher Power and other recovering sexual compulsives have helped me through that pain and continue to provide me with support, time and time again.”
I get a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of my spiritual condition.