Thursday, January 23rd
Some of us realized we needed to have a spiritual awakening to recover what we had lost as active sexual compulsives.
“I was ‘white-knuckling’ it, trying to convince myself and other members that I was sober. But I wasn’t feeling particularly sober: I missed going to those acting-out places, cruising the apps, hoping for the magical connection that would satisfy me. I had frequent episodes of euphoric recall that made me feel desperate to relive some of those experiences.”
The withdrawal process helps us understand that we are searching for a power greater than ourselves. As we work the Twelve Steps, we start to grasp the concept of a gentle, loving Higher Power whose care can restore us to sanity.
Surrendering our will is not easy, but we can see how doing so has helped other members. As we gradually develop trust in the process, we become free from the bondage of our compulsion and learn to accept our sexuality as God’s gift to us. We realize we are not empty; in fact, we have always been whole. Our character defects are wounds to be healed, not something innate.
My attachments to my former compulsive activities have faded. Through this powerful shift, I have found real contentment in my life.