Monday, January 13th
When I got drunk and had sex with strangers, I felt I had some value. I craved that feeling.
Many of us entered recovery seeking relief from multiple addictions. For some, sexually compulsive behavior was enhanced by drugs and alcohol. Sometimes, it was the other way around. Our euphoric highs, followed by crashing lows, often magnified both the sensations and the painful aftermath, adding to feelings of shame and low self-esteem. This repetitive cycle became more intense, often creating a sense of hopelessness.
“I couldn’t identify what I felt before having compulsive sex. Afterward, I felt remorse, guilt, and shame, which usually led to alcohol and more compulsive sex to escape those feelings. I finally admitted that if I continued to drink and drug, I could never stay sexually sober.”
For some of us, supporting our sexual sobriety by joining other fellowships that focus on substance addiction becomes part of our journey. Using the Tools of Recovery, including working the Steps, going to meetings, and doing service, helps us stay connected with our fellow recovering addicts, both in SCA and other fellowships. Continuing to tell our stories, reminding ourselves and others where we have been and how far we have come, helps us, helps others, and keeps us sober.
Continued sobriety in recovery has helped to raise my self-esteem.